The Deceptions of Truth Saga
by Strata-chan
Summary: Living in a world of lies and deceit, one man turns to the darkness within himself for escape. Another, who wishes only for everything to become as it was before, may be this man's only chance for survival. (There's more to this story, but I can't fit i
1. A Life Forsaken ...

Where Do I Belong

Deceptions of Truth Saga

By: Strata-chan

Notice: Remember that this is a **Fanfiction**. Anything that is written in this story is not factual. Also, I do not own Digimon or any of the characters. By the way, Koushiro is 17 years old in this fic. Also, I have altered Koushiro's character a bit through the first part of this fic, but the warp will eventually go away….I think. Actually, this entire fic has warped the characters clear out of proportion from what they are on the series. Please take this into note. Also, I am not a Koushiro-hater. He's my favorite character, along with Jyou. Also, I plan on using the Japanese names because I can't stand what FoxKids has done to this wonderful series.

Another Note: This fic used to be called "Where Do I Belong", but that title was getting to me and it just didn't seem to fit the plot anymore. So, here's the new and improved title. Hopefully, it will attract more readers. ^_^

***

How long have I been on the move now? Has it truly been six years already? It's unbelievable how the time can fly past without a person noticing it at all. My name was once Koushiro Izumi, but even I don't know if that person exists anymore. That little kid that helped with explorations in the Digital World seems to be lost in the giant stream of time, and seven years has passed since that time. I can't even remember the others now. Moving around can do a number on a person's memory. Luckily, I have kept my high intellect, but I'm surprised. I guess keeping that trait is my driving force in life. My reason to be alive. That's what people have taken me for all of my existence and if I lose that, I don't know what I'd do. Humph. Some reason. What is a high IQ good for if you are responsible for the deaths of some of your own family members? Anyway, to stop the self-pity speech, this all started seven years ago when tragedy struck my home……

***

I had been sitting on my computer unit, like always, when my family received a phone call. Of course, being the aloof person that I was, I brushed it off as "another damned phone call that was predestined to interrupt my work." Why should I have to talk anyone? I was the "computer genius" and I didn't have to answer to any of these people. The computer screen then showed an "error" message and I ran my hands through my spiked hair and let out a load groan.

"Why can't this thing cooperate with me? I just got a new DSL connection and it's STILL not fast enough for these blasted people!" While I was hunched over the keyboard, I heard a load crash in the other room. I ignored it for a second, but then realized that there were muffled cries coming from behind my closed door. I rose from my seat and decided to investigate what had occurred. Opening the door, I found my mother on the floor, weeping with the phone clutched in her hand. She seemed really distressed, so I left my post of being behind the door and went over to try and comfort her…and get back to that download as soon as possible. Once I reached her, she was mumbling some incoherent speech patterns that I couldn't comprehend. That's when she spoke out.

"Why did this have to happen? What did we do to deserve this, Koushiro?" she asked as her sorrowful eyes looked up to meet mine. Tears were starting to brim over as she turned her view back down towards the phone clutched in her hands. I just rolled my eyes, thinking that this was just another female phase of life, and kneeled down to her level. I was never really good at dealing with emotional situations.

"What's the matter? Why did what happen?" I said with false empathy while I was really thinking about my failing computer connection that needed to be attended to. 'These things always take too damn long,' I thought as she faced me again.

"You know what this means? We'll have to leave here and find another place to live! I'll have to get a job and…why am I telling you this? You don't really care. All you are about is that blasted computer of yours," she snapped as she got up and placed the phone on the table. She gave me a look of malice and walked into her room, and sobs could be heard from behind the door as she shut it. I got up from my previous position and wandered back to my room, wondering why she had been so cruel to me. She had never acted with such hostility towards anyone before, let alone myself.

When I reached my desk, I discovered that the connection had terminated itself and that the computer had restarted itself due to the internal error it experienced earlier. I cursed at it and typed in the necessary password in order to start the automatic repair procedure. While I was waiting, I walked over to the window and stared at the birds flying by and the city down below. All that noise and pollution was a sharp contrast to the sky above, which seemed like it had turned a sapphire-blue. The beeping of my computer, which was telling me that the repair process was complete and that Windows was ready to start loading, interrupted my thoughts.

"Finally! That must have been some type of serious hard drive malfunction," I concluded as I typed in the required password to enter Windows and sighed as I waited for my wallpaper of Himura Kenshin to show up. That was the problem with computers. They give you too much time to think about yourself and what you have done wrong in life while they load the essential basics of in order to function. It's just you, your mind and……the machine's incessant beeping!

I found another error message appear as soon as the program was halfway loaded and decided that enough was enough. Hacking my way around the error, I found that a file was conflicting with the loading process. I cleared it off of the disk and connected to the Internet once again. When NBC.com appeared on my screen, I noticed a headline that hadn't been there a half-hour ago. It read, "Several People Killed at Local Tokyo Office". Being the curious person I was, I clicked on the link and viewed to document. I read that an office clerk had completely gone insane and demolished several offices and shot several people. I read the exact address and gasped in horror at what I saw. My curiosity banished, I read on only to discover a list of names of the people who had died at the scene.

I found it strange that a list of the dead had been released so soon, but who was I to argue? Reading down the list, I counted about twelve people, but I lost count when I read one name. San Izumi. My eyes widened and I feel out of my chair in denial. Reeling on the floor, I backed away from the computer with tears forming in my eyes.

"No. It can't be true! It's a lie!" I screamed out into the empty room. Now I knew why my mother had been crying earlier. How could I have been so cold? Why had I been so indifferent? I could have changed this! I could have changed everything if I hadn't been so eager to get things done when I wanted them to be completed. Now, I could never make up my mistake…

__

Earlier that day:

"Koushiro! Could you stop typing away on that thing for one second and come down here so we can go?"

"I'm almost finished! Let me finish this one thing!"

"I mean now, Koushiro! If you don't come here this instant young man, I'm going to have to cancel our little vacation for the day and go to work instead!"

"This'll only take a few more minutes! This download has been giving me problems all day and this is the first time that I have almost completed it!" I looked back at the screen and began typing in some commands on the screen for the computer to follow. It couldn't possibly mess up again with these instructions… 

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs to my room. At that point, an error message appeared on the screen and I reeled back in frustration. My dad then entered the room and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Now that it has failed again, are you going to get dressed so we can go?"

I turned around and rolled my chair back to the computer and began to type once again, not even noticing the hurt look on my father's face.

"Koushiro, the computer can wait, can't it? All I'm asking for is a little quality time. Is that too much to ask for out of…"

"Yes it is! You don't understand the importance of this file! How would you feel if you were in my shoes? Quality time can be done anytime, but THIS has to be done now!" I yelled back at him with a ferocity that I had only heard a few times in my life. I turned back to the now flickering screen and tried to work my way around the error, not even thinking about what I had just said and done.

"Whatever you want Koushiro. I'll just leave you alone," my father stated quietly as he walked out of the door was a tear running down his cheek. I didn't even notice that he had left, not realizing that would be the last encounter I ever had with him…

End of Flashback…

What would I have given to be able to relive that morning? To remove all of my foolish acts and not have him leave for work that morning? To not yell him for showing some care towards me…I got up off of the floor and began to sob when I reached my bed. I felt like just lying there and dying on the spot. I felt like a murderer and a traitor to my father….no…parents. Then the realization hit me. I had left my mother in her room and I hadn't heard any type of movement for a while. Fear gripped my heart as I cautiously left my room and slowly crept towards her room.

I hoped for the best as I entered her room. There was absolutely no sound in the area whatsoever. 'This is very bad' I thought as I stepped throughout the room. Not a single thing made a sound, besides my feet, while I maneuvered through several objects. The silence was then disturbed by a crashing sound in the background. I whipped my body around in fear, only to discover that a picture had fallen from its place on the bookshelf. Once reaching the fallen object, I picked it up and tears began to well up in my eyes and I didn't realize that my thumb had been cut in the process of holding the picture. It was of our family right after I returned from the Digital World. We had just arrived in America and my father insisted that he should take a picture of all of us in front of the Statue of Liberty. I smiled at the look on all our faces. My mother's eyes were widened in surprise because of me tripping over her feet. I was lying on the ground, smiling, forming a "peace" sign with my left hand and my father was trying desperately to pick me up before the camera went off.

'Looks like he was a little late' I thought as I gazed at the picture. More tears formed in my eyes when I realized how innocent I was back then. Not like now. I looked up for one second and then looked back down at the picture to discover that some type of red substance had been smeared all over the faces of my mother and father. My blood. I took my injured thumb away from the photograph and ran to the bathroom, but I never reached the cupboard.

While dashing into the room, I slipped on some sort of slippery substance. I fell almost immediately and hit my head on the door and then on the hard floor. Blackness surrounded me almost instantly.

***

__

"Koushiro…"

I stood up in a land of no light or nature. Taking a good look around, I shuddered at my surroundings.

'Black…there's nothing but blackness,' I thought as I turned in all directions. My mind became scattered as I began to panic. 'Okay Koushiro. There's nothing to fear here. Being scared of the dark is for babies…'

"Koushiro: the murderer."

I whipped around, trying to find the source of that eerie voice, but I found no one. "Wh-who's there? Show yourself," I yelled out in defiance, while trying to act like I had no fear of this strange voice.

"Murderer."

Tears started to form in my eyes once again as I collapsed onto the floor. "I'm not a murderer! I'm not! I can't be…there was nothing I could have done," I bewailed as my hands started to pound on the floor.

"You heartless murderer. Killer. Butcher. Assassin."

"No! I'm not any of those things! These are all lies!" I said as I curled into a ball. "It's just not…maybe I am…maybe I am a murderer. A cold, heartless man who has no purpose in life but to be useless to everyone."

"Murderer. Assassin. Killer. Heartless. Aloof. Cold. Indifferent. Cutthroat." A figure then appeared out of the darkness repeating this sequence over and over again. It was like a subliminal programming sequence that would be played to program a sleeping child. As the figure became clearer, I gasped.

"No…it can't be you…"

"But it is, Koushiro. You were cruel to me, therefore causing my death. Murderer. Assassin. Killer. Heartless. Aloof. Cold." Over and over again. Coming closer and closer and closer…

"Nooooo!!! Please stop! I didn't kill you, father! I didn't!"

***

I awoke panting like I had been running for miles. Putting my hand behind my head, I noticed that there was something slick coated my hair. Removing my hand, I discovered that the mysterious substance was blood. At first, I thought it was my blood, but then I saw the trail of it running along the floor to the shower. I tried to take a closer look from where I was, but my vision was very fuzzy due to the fall I had. I crawled over to the shower and opened the door, only to discover the nearly dead form of my mother. There was blood everywhere. So much crimson flowing from her pale form. I reeled back in horror and scrambled to get up and away from her. I didn't even think about touching her in any manner. More proof of my coldness.

__

Murderer. Assassin. Killer. Heartless. Aloof. Cold. Indifferent. Cutthroat. Those words kept repeating in my mind as I picked up the phone and frantically dialed the emergency service number.

"Emergency services. What is your emergency?"

"Oh m gods…I-I…no…this can't be happening to me!"

"Please tell us your location and emergency please."

"I-I..I don't know if I can.." My mind went blank. There wasn't anything I could say to make this situation any better.

"We cannot help you if you refuse to tell…"

"I know damn it! You really want to know? My father was shot today and my mother is lying in the shower with blood flowing profusely out of her body! There! Are you happy?" What was happening to me? I had become a monster whose rage could be unleashed at anytime without warning. I felt like shooting myself. _Murderer. Assassin…_

"Your location, please."

I had had enough of that game. I then screamed into the phone with all of my might. "Why don't you use your damn tracking devices? Hmm? I know you have them! It's just like you people to be so damned cold at times like this!" 'Heartless. Aloof. Cold. Indifferent.' I then hung up the phone and ran out as fast as I could. I didn't realize that I was completely covered in blood.

I ran down the street. My tears were mingling with the blood on my face, causing two streams of red to form. I had to get to someone. Someone had to help me. Taichi lived nearby, so I decided to try him first. 'Humph. Like he would help anyone. Him and his soccer tournaments. He's probably off in some foreign country with the rest of his family. _Murderer. Assassin. Deserter. Traitor._

Once I reached the building complex my ex-leader lived in, I only thought about reaching Taichi and nothing else. I didn't even notice the stares I was receiving as I made my way up the steps. Reaching his door was like the sensation a Gladiator must have felt after a seemingly impossible victory over the odds. I pounded for what seemed like hours, but there was no response. Slowly sliding down the door, I began to cry for the sheer release of doing so. All I wished for was death at that point, but what good would that do? I'd just end up in the hells for life after life on this Earth.

I then heard footsteps from behind me and assumed that someone was coming after me. To punish me for my wrongs. Forcing my battered body to get up, I ran blindly down the steps that I came up on. My vision swam with swirls of color, but I had to keep running. Running from my fate. _Murderer. Traitor. Coldhearted. Aloof. Assassin_. I gripped my hair in an attempt to rid myself of these thoughts, but they just would not leave me. I kept running on and on until I reached an empty alley. It was beginning to get dark and all I could do was find some soft trash bags to lay on for the night.

'Koushiro, the computer genius, reduced to sleeping in garbage,' I thought resentfully as I found a good and soft pile of rubbish to rest on. I then fell into a troubled sleep.

***

"Murderer. Assassin. Killer. Traitor. Deserter. Heartless. Aloof. Cold." __

"Oh give it up already." I said to the 'spirit' of my father. I thought that by giving in, maybe it would make all the torture stop.

"You killed your other parents too, Koushiro. They died because of you."

My eyes widened in disbelief. "That's not true! I was a small child when they perished! I didn't do anything…"

"Yes you did. Remember that car accident? Well, you caused it." The spirit appeared once again and looked at me with a scornful look in its eyes.

"Tell me then. How did I kill them?" I had been so confident then. Too bad that the coming explanation made too much sense to be a calumny.

The phantom smirked at me and looked like he was debating whether or not to tell me what I wanted to know. An internal battle of sorts if you wish to put it in those terms, only the battle was not good against evil. It was like it knew of the "Catch 22" phrase. I was damned if I knew and damned if I didn't.

"Tell me!" I demanded "What else do I have to lose. I am already a murderer, am I not?"

The figure then laughed and turned to face me. It wafted over to where I stood and forcefully grabbed my chin and pulled me close to its face. Negative feelings then swirled around my psyche and a cold wind brewed around that area. It was like being around death itself. That's when the subliminal messages became overwhelming. 'Assassin. Murderer. Cold. Aloof. Traitor.' Continued chants played in my head. I cringed to my knees, holding my hands over my ears in an effort to rid my brain of this intense barrage of thoughts. Just then, all went silent in my head. I opened my eyes to stare at a pond of tears right below my face. Looking up, with my hands still over my ears, I saw that the spirit had migrated several feet away from me and was smirking with glee at my pain.

"You truly wish to know, Koushiro? I'll tell you then. I don't care whether you move on from this point or become a wreck of what once had the potential to be a great man."

Thinking of not better response, I retorted sarcastically, "How kind of you. Your sympathy touches me."

"Insolent fool. When you were young, your REAL parents decided that it was a great day for a car ride. There was no purpose in this trip whatsoever. They thought that you needed to get out of the house for a little while, since you had been ill and in bed for the past two weeks. Everyone was just one big happy family until the accident occurred. Your mother placed you in her lap and while your dad was driving, you found the gearshift quite interesting. Your greedy hand reached out and grabbed it. Your mother and father both told you to let go, but you refused to obey them. Your fingers wrapped around the entire upper half and you began to shake it vigorously. They screamed and hollered, but you still continued. Then, the car engine began to smoke the most putrid black haze and it filled the entire compartment. You began crying, but your hands still remained on the shift. Your hands caused it to move one last time and that was it. The vehicle's engine burst into flames and the car began to careen from side to side on the road. It slammed into two other vehicles and then hit the railing on the side of the road. Your mother shielded you from most of the impact, therefore causing her to have severe internal damage. Your father was thrown from the vehicle and landed several meters away. He died instantly. You must be asking why you did not perish in the fire? A brave civilian helped you on that point. He walked up to the open window and pulled you and your mother from the vehicle. That's when the explosion occurred. The blast was so powerful that it knocked you, the civilian and your mother back at least 5 meters. That's how your mother died. Miraculously, you landed on a bush, therefore causing your injuries to be minor. Well, that's it! That's how you killed your parents as a toddler and lived to hear about it."

My confidence within myself had now been shattered in one simple explanation that took less than three minutes to say. Shock had taken over my being and my mind was a jumble of thoughts. I WAS a murderer. I had killed everyone that was close to me and I brought misfortune to those that I encountered as well. I was a murderer, a traitor, and a cold-hearted person. I couldn't believe it, but I was! Backing away from the ghost in horror, I felt a darkness creep around my heart. There was no one to save me. No one to care about this poor soul that had been tormented beyond any human tolerance.

'Murderer.' No. 'Assassin.' It can't be. 'Traitor' I'm not! 'Deserter!' It wasn't my fault! 'Cold-hearted!' No! It can't be! It just can't be!

***

I awoke to the sun's rays shining onto my face, which was now covered in a mix of sweat and garbage slime. Slime. That word is perfect for what I felt like I was. I had KILLED both of my families. Both! Only serial killers perform that kind of feat.

I looked up into the sky and allowed my dull eyes to view something beautiful. I had once cared about the sky, but now, it just seemed useless. "How can I ask anyone for help now? Who is going to help an aloof murderer like myself? Not even Mimi would stand for it." I hung my head as I forced my bruised and battered body to move. My vision was still swimming a little, but it was nothing to keep me from moving on. All I knew is that I had to run. Run away from this place and never be heard from again.

***

That leads me to right now. These events took place six years ago, when I was 11 years old. An innocent….no…..I was guilty of murder from the time I was two years old. How cruel of a fate is that. I really don't know what I'm going to do next. The others probably feel that I am dead. I deem myself to be that way. I'm just a shell of my former being. Like my "friends" would care anyway. At least they don't have to bother with me in their lives now. Making everything to "technological" or "complicated" for them. I just hope that I can find somewhere to be. A place where I can be myself without being ridiculed. Without being pushed around. Where do I belong!?

***

Here's this annoying note again that was at the top of this chapter. This fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but that title was seriously getting to me. As the plot progressed, the name "Deceptions of Truth" seemed more suited for this plot line. Please review this fic and I'll be a very happy authoress if you do. ^_^


	2. Faintly Glimmering Hope...

Where Do I Belong

Deceptions of Truth Saga

By: Strata-chan

Note: Well, here's the second chapter. Remember that the characters in this fic have had their personalities altered for my purposes. Also, if you do like fics that portray certain existences in a morbid type of sense, then I suggest not reading this work. *smiles* I love writing drama fics. Well, that came from out of nowhere. Also, I apologize for the formatting mistakes in the last chapter. It seems that the .doc document was a garbled a little bit when I converted it to .html format. ^_^*

Another Note: This fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but the title was bugging me because of its dull nature. Also, it just didn't suit the plot line anymore.

***

"And the bruises that you feel will heal, __

And I hope you'll come around,

We're missing you.

You used to speak so easy,

Now, you're afraid to talk to me.

It's like walking with the wounded,

Carrying that weight way to far,

The concrete pulled you down so hard,

Out there when you're wounded."

Lyrics from "Wounded" by Third Eye Blind

***

Well, now you know the current Koushiro Izumi. The wreck of a great man, who everyone used to rely on and is now lonely, forgotten and depressed. He lives in a life of false accusations and lies that he has created with his own negativity. It is like a cloud has shrouded the once bright light that shone in that young man's eyes. His once bright red hair has turned a dingy brown due to a lack of care. He walks from place to place, hoping that one of the kindly citizens will take him in. No one knows who he is, and no one cares. People walk by him everyday and can only think about how "grungy" and "ugly" he is and how he's "an eyesore of the community." He's been pushed and shoved and told to surrender his money or pay the price. His ankle has been partially lame ever since that one incident down by the market. These people don't notice the turmoil and pain in his eyes every time he is beaten or forced from town to town. Why should they? It isn't like a homeless boy is going to change the fate of their lives…

***

'Why am I still here? I've been sitting here for days doing nothing. No one is going to take me in. I should just move on to the next city of….' Koushiro stopped his mental monologue in order to look at the map that he had…..acquired from someone. 'Let's see here…Nichinan. Yeah, Nichinan. I've heard that the people there are quite kind, but then again, does anything work out for me?' Koushiro questioned as he stood up from his place on the street. He picked up the pan that he had been using to collect petty change from kindly citizens, making sure to not step on his injured ankle too hard.

Koushiro had gotten used to the fact that people rejected him and it didn't sting his soul anymore. He felt that his soul had deserted him long ago and that having a kindly essence would only lead to more pain and suffering later on. In a sense, he was right. People take advantage of kindness and use it only to their advantage, not thinking about what type of anguish the other party is experiencing. Exploitation was a way of life for Koushiro before he went to the Digital World. It was always "do my homework or else" or "hand over your lunch money before I pound you into the ground". One would take a look at his life and assume that this child didn't experience one truly happy moment in his life.

Limping along the road, Koushiro decided to stop and gaze at the setting sun. He found a nearby bench and set his aching body upon it. 'Taking a rest won't hurt anything,' Koushiro thought as he relaxed his tense muscles and set his ankle on a nearby rock. The sun's rays had turned lovely shades of orange and crimson, against the sapphire of the oceanic waters and the azure and raven sky. It was like a painting done by Monet. 'I always did love Monet's work. Too bad I can't enjoy it any longer,' Koushiro thought as the previous peaceful look on his face faded.

"Why can't this turmoil just leave me alone for one damn second? Am I not allowed to enjoy any beauty," Koushiro screamed into the fading sunset. The last streaks of sunlight slowly slipped below the horizon as Koushiro watched. The nightly stars began to appear immediately afterwards and one in particular shone brightly. 'Hmm…that must be Venus. Oh! There's Mars and Jupiter and Mercury and…they're all in conjunction with the moon? How rare. Oh well. It isn't like they are going to change the future or anything,' Koushiro concluded as he left the bench to continue walking.

He strolled several kilometers until he reached a fork in the road. 'Should I go left or right? I hate my life! It's always decision after decision! I can't take much more of this! Can't Fate just give me a clear path to follow,' Koushiro mentally complained as he examined both paths. 'Choice A looks shorter, but Path B looks safer….oh hell! I'll just take the shorter way. Things can't get much worse, can they?' Koushiro thought as he headed for the road that was to the left.

As Koushiro paced down the road, he discovered that it ended with an alley. 'Just my luck my luck to run into a dark, dank, narrow…reeking…enclosed…'Koushiro's thoughts paused as he realized that he was just scaring himself with all of those descriptive adjectives and decided to just move on without thinking about it. Halfway through, Koushiro heard something crash behind him, with hollers of laughter occurring afterwards. He spun around to face the direction where the sound came from and also let his curiosity take over.

Koushiro walked up to a deviation in the straightness of the alley and discovered several people laughing at a person, who seemed to be trapped within a trash can. Koushiro took a closer look from where he was positioned and realized that the thing in the bin wasn't a person. It was a stray dog. The people that surrounded the area guffawed with glee at their actions and looked for another target. Koushiro's thoughts now concentrated on rescuing the innocent animal, but keeping out of sight was a high priority as well. He slowly slipped his head back behind the wall and slumped down against it.

'How am I going to do this? Those contemptuous juveniles will catch me if I go now, but if I don't leave right now, who knows what will happen to the dog. Oi…too many decisions! I can't do it! I'm not strong or reliable enough to do this,' Koushiro thought as he grabbed his hair in frustration. He was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to realize that the gang had decided to move out and was now headed in his direction.

"Well well well. What do we have here? A little homeless shit-ball that is on our turf," said the leader of the pack as he leaned against the wall Koushiro was sitting against. Koushiro, who was now frightened out of his mind, looked up at his offenders and swallowed the scream he was about to release. The dominator then bent down to Koushiro's level and grabbed they boy's chin. "Where's your mommy, little boy? Don't ya have a mommy?," he said with painful sarcasm present in his voice.

'Oh my gods…I'm dead. I'm seriously dead. This is the end…why am I not as scared as I should be? Maybe I just don't care anymore,' Koushiro thought as tears came out of his eyes. 'No. I'm not going to give in that easily! I don't care about myself but the dog needs me! I can't let an innocent creature die because of my incompetence! Not ever again!' He rose from the spot that he sat in to greet the features of the advancing hooligans with bravery. He eyed them in order to find a weak point in their defenses and to plan the shortest route to the dog.

'There! That's my chance!' Koushiro leapt from his place and dashed to the left of the gang. He charged right past the smallest of the group, who looked dumbfounded at the speed Koushiro was moving at. 'I did it! Yeah!' He leaped for joy as he reached the trash can, opened it and removed the dog from the can. He placed the battered animal within his arms and began to dash down the byway. 'Now, all I have to do is run straight down this alley and I'll be out of here in a…oh shit.' Koushiro's hopes dropped as he reached a dead end. Koushiro slapped himself on the forehead. 'Damn my senses! I knew that the alley was too dark to be an open one, but did I listen to myself? How could I have been so idiotic! I'm sorry little guy,' Koushiro turned his attention to the unconscious dog in his arms. 'I failed you. Just like I failed everyone else. Now, you'll die because of me. Just like my families.' Koushiro's eyes filled with tears as he tried to hide the dog as best as he could. He found several trash bags that were perfect for the job and placed it beneath them. Then, he stood up as straight as he could to meet his fate like a man. 'Maybe if I provide enough of a distraction, they'll forget about the dog and not kill it. I hope.'

"Hey, you little punk," the leader said as he advanced on Koushiro. "No one makes a fool of the Hishinka gang and lives to tell about it. I mean NO ONE." Koushiro stood his ground and gave the gang the strongest look that he could muster. They were just waiting for him to crack, but Koushiro would not do so. "Don't you want any last wishes before I kill you, kid?" Koushiro just continued to stare at them. One of the members then told the rest of the group that he was a mute and that he didn't know how to talk. "Hey, kid? You a mute? Ha! You must be retarded then. Retards are the best prey."

Koushiro couldn't hold his temper back any longer. "Well, try this on for size! I bet your inadequate mass of protoplasm isn't capable of understanding a word I am pronouncing, am I not correct?" Koushiro's eyes flared with anger as he gazed upon the group and changed his stance.

"Oh…so you want to fight, eh kid? Fine then. Get 'em!" They charged on Koushiro with the force of a pack of Bison. He fought back with all of his might, but he was no match for the strength of the group. Once he was on the ground, Koushiro made no further attempt to escape. Closing his eyes, he tried to accept his fate and justify his death.

'I've hated this world so much along with myself. This'll just be a release from my anguish. I have nothing to fear from this. No one will even miss me or…' Koushiro's thoughts became jumbled as he felt himself hit something hard. 'The wall. I never…knew they could b…be so hard,' Koushiro thought through the haze of pain that spread throughout his body. He cracked one eye open and saw that he was lying on the ground, soaking wet, and saw that the entire gang was starting to crowd around him. One of them kicked him in the face, very hard. Koushiro wanted to move his hands up to protect his face, but he couldn't move. Two of the members had come up from behind him and grabbed his arms and legs in order to make it easy for the rest to pummel their victim. Then, another blow came to his forehead and then another to his left temple. The pain worsened and Koushiro's muscles began to relax. That's when everything went black.

***

The night continued on and left by the time some movement came out of the boy. Koushiro cracked his eyes open as he came back to consciousness, but closed them again as a wave of immense pain washed over him. 'Why didn't they kill me? Am I cursed with luck or something? Why couldn't they just release me from all this damned suffering. Now, I have to live with another death on my hands. I'm a monster once again,' Koushiro thought as he slowly drifted back into unconsciousness.

***

Koushiro awoke to darkness. The coldness surrounded him and his body had ceased the natural process of shivering while he was unconscious. That's when he noticed that there was another form resting next to him, trying to keep him warm. Koushiro weakly opened his left eye and moved his head just enough to see what kind soul was doing this act. 'The dog…it didn't die. I…have to live fo…for it.' All of his energy spent, Koushiro's eyes closed once again and he rested with a renewed sense of purpose in life.

In the morning, Koushiro awoke to a slick sensation all over his face. Koushiro cracked open his left eye once again to discover that his new companion had been licking his wounds in an effort to care for them. 'That's not possible. It was probably just after the blood.' Koushiro tried to get himself off of the damp ground, but his attempt failed. 'Damn those people. Now, how am I going to get to Nichinan in this state? I killed my ankle by running through the alley and now I'm probably going to be down for a few days like this. What am I going to eat? I can't let anyone take me to the hospital. I'll be discovered and taken to a foster home, or to jail. Who am I kidding? One year and I'll be free anyway. What was my birthday? I can't remember it, not that it was of great importance anyway. Who really cares that much about me anyway,' Koushiro thought as the dog continued to lick his face. He noticed that it was no longer licking his wounds, but on an uninjured patch of his face. 'Wha..? Is this creature trying to tell me something? Does he want to be…to be my friend,' Koushiro asked as the playful licks continued to come. 

'A friend. After all these years, someone wants to be my friend! A true friend who won't beat on me if I don't do their homework of provide funds for their spending sprees.' A smile appeared on Koushiro's face as his opened his eyes fully for the first time in the past two days. A person looking at the boy would have probably seen a rarely seen spark of life pass through his eyes as the dog continued to lap at his face. It was like it was urging him to get up and move on. 'I can do it. Someone loves me!' Koushiro lifted his body from the ground with great effort and sat up as straight as he could. The strain was great though since Koushiro was panting heavily after the effort was completed.

"Hey, little guy." He reached out a hand to pet the dog upon the head, but it backed away in fear. Koushiro was hurt a little by this retreat, but he soon realized the poor thing's fear of human touch. "I'm not going to harm you. I appreciate what you did for me and I wish to repay you." Koushiro raised one arm towards the dog, but it still backed away. Koushiro's arm began to shake with weakness and it dropped after giving everything it had. The dog then came closer once again, seeing that Koushiro was no treat to him. Koushiro's eyes lit up with joy as the dog came close enough for him to reach. He used his other arm to reach up and brush the dog's fur with his fingers and could feel the warmth that was underneath.

'Warmth. He must have great warmth because his heart is large enough to extend to such a person as myself. It feels so wonderful.' The dog backed away again, but not in fear. It came back and placed his head under Koushiro's arm and tried to lift him from the ground.

"You want me to get up, huh? I'll try, but I can't give you any guarantees." The dog just stared at him and Koushiro could have sworn that he saw a tear form in each eye. That stare was a look of compassion that he had never seen before. At least with such intensity anyway. Koushiro struggled to move, but it was so hard to do so. His first attempt failed miserably. One leg moved, but the other remained limp and bent in a strange direction. "I hope that leg isn't broken, little guy." Koushiro turned his eyes to the animal. "If it is, we're not going anywhere until I bandage it in some way or another. Then, I have to find some crutches too."

Koushiro tried once again to get up and this time he was partially successful. He only achieved the movement of his lame leg, but he had to manually move it into a proper position. "I'll try one more time, okay?" His friend walked over to where Koushiro sat, placed his entire body underneath his supporting arm and prepared to lift the ailing boy. Koushiro's eyes began to fill with tears as he saw this act occur. 'He truly cares about me.' Koushiro suddenly found the strength to stand and allowed to dog to help him do so. Once he was standing, the dog moved away and started to leap and bark for joy. It was like the end of the world had been prevented by Koushiro's feat for this lost puppy.

"I'm wanted. I'm finally needed. After all of these years…It's truly unbelievable, you know? I guess we're just two peas in a pod. No one wants, cares or needs our presence, so who needs them? We'll just stick together for as long as possible and forget our troubles. We'll move from city to city as vagabonds. We're going to make it little guy! We can do it!" Koushiro said the last few lines with enthusiasm that he hadn't used in years. The dog's ears perked up and Koushiro saw that it could understand every word he said. It began to leap about once again and tugged as Koushiro's bloodied and ripped pant-leg in an effort to tell his new master how eager he was to leave.

"All right then! Let's move on outta here." Koushiro slowly began to walk, but realized that his right leg was hurting immensely. 'Damn. It must be broken.' Koushiro thought as he looked at the dog ahead of him. 'I can't show him this. Maybe I'll bandage it tonight when he's asleep. That's when I'll make some makeshift crutches as well. Those survival classes sure have helped me,' thought Koushiro as he started to feel for the fracture point in his leg. The dog looked upon his master with worry as he traced back to him and gave Koushiro a look that was asking what was wrong with his leg.

"I'm just a little sore. Nothing to worry about." Koushiro found the fracture point and accidentally poked at it a little too hard, causing that leg to give out. As he collapsed to the ground, he wanted to cry out in pain, but he didn't want to scare his only friend on this earth away. Koushiro stood up again, but he bit his lip while doing so. The dog looked like he knew what was going on and gave his master's leg a worried glance. 'It's truly amazing that this dog can see everything that I'm feeling. I can't hide anything from him. He's better than some people I know," Koushiro thought with animosity as he remembered all the times in the Digital World that he was ignored and teased by the other Digidestined. Remembering the times his "parents" didn't understand him. The times that they ignored his feelings. Those times…were no longer in this time.

'I can't live in the past any longer. What is brooding about my former life going to do to help my future? I'm no longer going to make mistakes that just enforce what my father's spirit said all those years ago.' Koushiro bent down to the dog's face and placed a hand underneath its chin. "I promise that I'll always protect you. If it means giving my life, then I'll do it. You'll always have me around, if you promise to always be by my side as well." Koushiro pulled his hand away straightened his back. "Now you need a name. How about Kaida? Does that suffice?" The dog's eyes sparkled with pleasure as that name was mentioned and barked in an attempt to respond. "You like it? Kaida it is then." Kaida then turned around and began to walk away at a speed the Koushiro could not keep up with. He struggled to move faster, but it just wasn't possible. That's when he felt a sharp pain lance all the way up his leg. 'Wait! Don't leave me here alone! I…I can't be left alone! Not again. Please wait for me. Kaida,' Koushiro cried mentally to his companion.

Kaida seemingly heard this mental cry and stopped walking. Turning his head around, he saw Koushiro attempting to move his leg at a faster pace, but was unsuccessful. Kaida then saw him lower himself to the ground and try to push his limb back into place, but was having a laborious time doing so. Knowing that his master needed assistance, he walked over to Koushiro and placed a paw on his ailing leg. Koushiro cried out in pain as Kaida's full weight pressed against the fracture and pushed it into place. Once he was finish, Kaida gave Koushiro a look that apologized for giving him so much agony and suffering. Koushiro's vision was swimming due to the experience he had just been through and he tried hard not to pass out as he spoke.

"Thank you, Kaida," he said as he bowed his head in respect to the dog. "I am truly lucky to have you as a companion, my friend." Kaida then walked over to Koushiro and licked his face once again. "All right. All right. I'm getting up now." He tried to exalt himself from the ground, but he just couldn't do so without bending his injured leg somehow. Kaida stared at Koushiro for a moment and suddenly left him where he sat.

"Wait! Where are you going? Don't leave me here!" Koushiro's eyes began to fill with grief as he watched his companion move down the alley. 'He's leaving me. Just like everyone else. I knew it was too good to be true. How could I let my kindness out again? Now, I've only hurt myself even more. Blasted feelings. Why did they have to be created in the first place? All they cause are grief and suffering.' Koushiro began to sob uncontrollably and buried his head within his arms so no one could hear his cries.

A few hours later, Koushiro had run of energy to cry. He laid his aching body onto the ground and stared at the darkening sky. 'Humph. That's what I get for trusting someone.' He stared intently at the clouds for many moments and watched the wind play its games with them. One cloud caught his interest though. It looked like some type of sleek, winged animal with a flaming mane of silk and a hide as white as a pearl. As soon as it came, the wind blew it away. 'Get a grip, Koushiro. You're starting to see things.' Then, another passed by and Koushiro sighed with depression. 'That one looks like…like…damn it. I can't remember whom.' Before his memory could return, the cloud that looked like Jyou Kido blew away, never to be viewed again.

As the sun set below the horizon, Koushiro began to get tired, but due to his hunger pains, he could not sleep. 'Hunger. What a horrible feeling it is. Always nagging at you for something that you cannot give it. It's like a child asking for a toy that the parent cannot afford.' Koushiro sighed as he stared at the stars. 'The Milky Way always gave me comfort before, but now, it seems so distant. How could something so distant give me comfort now? Everything is just so distant.' Koushiro closed his eyes in another attempt to sleep and he was actually successful.

***

"Murderer. Assassin. Aloof. Cold. Traitor. Deserter. Uncaring. Incompetent." __

Koushiro sighed in depression as he realized that by releasing his abilities to trust and to love, he had also unlocked the ability to dream. "What do you want?" His tone of voice sounded exasperated and downright bored with the same subliminal programming being repeated several times over.

"I want you to die. I must see you die in order to rest in peace."

"I already know you are not my father. He would never be this cruel, even if I DID cause his death."

"Oh, but I am. I am." San Izumi's spirit then appeared to face Koushiro. He then changed his form to an unfamiliar one. One that seemed familiar in some way…"Do you not recognize me? I'm hurt. For that, you must perish. I'll finally be able to return to the Earth after 15 years of unrest. 15 damned years I have been stuck in this place because of you and your unwillingness to die. You should have died in that crash!"

Koushiro gasped in horror as he realized that was the form of his REAL father. He ran his hands through his hair and collapsed onto his knees in remembrance. He remembered the stick shift, the smoke, the fire, and everything else. 'No. I didn't kill you! I was just a child! A child! I didn't know what I was doing! I didn't know…I…didn't…' Koushiro didn't even realize that his "father" was advancing towards him with the intent of killing him.

"Now you will die!" Koushiro gasped in horror as he saw the spirit pull out two katana blades and wield them with expert precision. "This is for all the years of unrest you have caused me!" He advanced on the helpless Koushiro while whirling the double katanas through the air. Koushiro looked up from the floor, only to find a katana pointed directly into his face. "Meet your fate like a man and get up."

Koushiro just stared at his father with the most hateful look he could muster in his current state. "Then I die like a child, since I wish to remain on the floor. I do not have to obey your commands." Koushiro saw a flash of red appear in his father's eyes as he drew back the sword for a moment. It then returned with a vengeance as it created a giant gash that ran all the way down the left side of Koushiro's face. Koushiro cried out in pain as he pressed his hands against the wound in an effort to stop the flow of his blood.

"I was going to give you a painless death, but your defiance has prevented me from allowing that to happen. Now, get up!"

"Never," Koushiro retorted as he spat blood onto one of his father's katana blades in a last-ditch effort to be defiant. "You'll be doing me a favor, father. I have WANTED to die for such a long time, but every effort that was executed has failed. I have been deserted so many times that I do not know how to trust or love anymore. It hurts too much. I've been forgotten and I'm not wanted anywhere. So please, do kill me," Koushiro said as he smirked at his father.

"You fool!" The blade was drawn back in preparation and Koushiro closed his eyes as he waited for the blow to come. He waited…and waited…and waited, but now blow was received. Koushiro slowly opened his eyes to see that the cloud-creature that he had seen earlier had pinned his father to the floor. Koushiro was perplexed as to what this creature was, where it came from and why had it saved him. His thoughts were interrupted as the creature turned around to look at him. Its eyes were a sapphire blue and they looked as calm as an ocean when they gazed upon the inquisitive boy.

'Why is this creature looking at me like that? It seems so…familiar. Why can't I remember!? What is happening to me?' Koushiro threw his head back in frustration as his hands grabbed his hair and pulled.

"The longer you stay here, the more you forget. Can you even remember the Digital World at all," his father stated from beneath the winged creature.

'The Digital World. The Digital World. That term seems so familiar. What does it mean? The Digital World. What is that?' Koushiro pondered about it for several moments and them cried out in frustration. "I don't know! I can't…I can't remember!"

"Precisely my point." The spirit then threw the creature from his form and watched as it slammed into the ground. "Weakling."

Koushiro gasped as he saw his savior skid across the floor and remain still. 'No!' He began to run towards the creature, but was stopped by a very hard blow to the back of the head. Koushiro's vision began to grow limited and blurry as he looked upon the figure of his father one last time before passing out.

***

"No…don't…" Koushiro mumbled as he slept. As Koushiro tossed about in his sleep, a lone figure strolled up to him. It held several pieces of wrapping and sticks. It also dragged a couple of crutches as well. It laid these items beside Koushiro and then lied down beside him.

"Noooo!!" Koushiro woke up in a cold sweat and panting heavily. His hand immediately went up to the left side of his face. 'Good, there's nothing there.' He placed his hand down upon the ground, only to find something furry in his hand's path. He allowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness and then examined what the obstruction was. 

"Oh my…Kaida! You came back!" Koushiro then looked beside the dog and discovered what he had brought for him. Noticing that Kaida was still asleep, Koushiro decided that he shouldn't wake him because of his joy. 'You are the greatest. Now, what is the Digital World? I remember that term being used in my memory somewhere, but it's like a distorted satellite signal. I can't lose my intelligence! This can't be happening.' Just then, the left side of Koushiro's face began to hurt intensely, which caused his hands to go directly to that place. 'What's happening to me? What is this feeling?' Beads of sweat began to form on his face as some type of deformation started to materialize underneath his hands. Koushiro closed his eyes and concentrated on other things besides the pain, but his plan to diminish the agony didn't work. As the pain worsened, Koushiro laid his head back down on the concrete and fell into a deep slumber.

"That worked perfectly," a figure from the shadows stated. "I'll be rid of him yet. I'll use his fears, doubts and depression to initiate his own self-destruction and I can finally be at peace in a new form." The shadow then dissipated into the darkness, leaving Koushiro to sleep peacefully for one last night.

***

*sighs* Again, this fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but yadda yadda yadda. Please review this story and tell me what you think. I put a lot of work into this thing and whether your opinions are good or bad, I'd love to hear them. ^_^


	3. Hidden Emotions Now Bruised...

Where Do I Belong

Deceptions of Truth Saga

By: Strata-chan

Sorry about the deletion of the previous chapter. While reading it, I discovered that an entire paragraph had been cut from the document, so I had to delete it. Then, Fanfiction.net was being mean and not letting me upload it over again. It seems to do that all the time to me. I mean, these files ARE in HTML format, but can the upload feature read it correctly? Of course not. Anyway, please review this story. ^-^

Note: This story used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but I changed the title. Please review this story for me and I'll be quite happy. ^_^

***

__

When I can't brave the fight,

When I can't sleep through the lonely night,

I turn to you.

Like a flower leaning towards the sun.

I turn to you, 'cause you're the only one,

Who cares to turn me around,

When I'm upside-down, 

I turn to you…oooo.

When my mind's racked with anxiety,

You have a touch that will quiet me.

You lift my spirits, you melt the ice.

When I need inspiration and I need advice,

I turn to you….

Like a flower leaning towards the sun.

I turn to you, 'cause you're the only one,

That can turn me around, when I'm upside down.

I turn to you!

When fear tells me to turn around.

I turn to you, 'cause you're the only one.

Who can tell me who I am,

And who can understand.

I turn to you…

Lyrics from "Songs from N.Y.C Underground 3" by Louie Devito (Also dedicated to my mother, Jade Star and Tyria Darklighter.)

***

Koushiro woke the next day to a throbbing pain on the left side of his face. Groaning in discomfort, Koushiro rolled over to discover that Kaida was still asleep at his side. He slowly stroked the dog's fur and was comforted by the warmth that Kaida's fur emitted. Slowly turning his head around, he noticed that a puddle was nearby to him. 'I guess I could wash all the blood off of my face now.' Koushiro concluded as he felt the dry sensation on his face. When he reached the puddle, he took a good look at his reflection. 'There's something seriously wrong here,' Koushiro mused as he dragged himself even closer. One he had a clear view of himself, Koushiro noticed that the left side of his now bore a long scar that ran all the way down his face and that it covered some of the scabs on his face. 'How did that get there,' Koushiro questioned. 'What did I do last night to cause that? How did that heal so quickly?' He rubbed the scar and then pulled away from the tender skin. 'Am I now cursed to losing my memory? Accursed Fate. I don't want to forget so much that I forget that I am Koushiro…Koushiro…umm…what's my last name? This can't be happening to me! Am I now a retarded nothing on top of being a cold-blooded murderer? What? How come I can remember those words from all those years ago and all the awful memories that go along with them, but none of the benevolent ones?' Koushiro bent his head back over the puddle of water and brushed his hand along the scar again. 'This scar…everything must be coming back t haunt me. I guess it's my fate…my karma.' Koushiro pulled away from the water dragged himself back over to Kaida. 'Well, I guess I have to live with myself and get this leg bandaged. There's no time to sit around and mope.'

Koushiro grabbed the supplies that had somehow managed to get there. 'I wonder who brought these,' he mused as he grabbed some of the splints for his leg. 'This is going to hurt…' Koushiro then pushed the splints onto his leg and he noticeably grimaced at the pain that followed. He fought the urge to cry out and reached over to grab some of the medical tape. Koushiro carefully wrapped the tape around his injured leg and made sure that the splints were the strongest around the fracture point. 'There. All finished. Now we can get going…'

As Koushiro was in the midst of his thoughts, he heard something stir in the background. Startled, Koushiro did his best turn around in order to see his offender, but wasn't too successful. 'Great. Now my mind is creating illusions to just frighten me.' He turned back around and dipped his hands in the cool liquid and brought some up to his face. That's when another sound occurred.

"Who's out there? Show yourself!" Nothing. 'I'm going crazy or something. I wouldn't blame myself for doing that. It's the easy way out of all this since even death doesn't seem so wonderful anymore.' Once again, Koushiro heard another sound coming from behind him. This time, he turned around very slowly. To his surprise, it was Kaida making all the racket. "How sweet. The little guy's dreaming. I wonder what about. Probably about being surrounded by several females and being hand-fed by several masters I bet.' Koushiro sighed at the thought. 'I wish I could provide that for him. It just seems so cruel that he has to suffer along with me..'

Koushiro suddenly doubled over in pain as he thought those words. 'My body…what's it doing to me? Just like it to…give out at a time li..like this..Ahhh!!' The pain suddenly became more intense and Koushiro's hands ruffled through his hair in an attempt to stop his agony. He started to shake his head in disbelief as he felt like his mind was being ripped apart. Now sprawled on the ground, tears once again formed in Koushiro's eyes. Then, as soon as the pain started, it stopped. Koushiro looked around in confusion as sat on the cold concrete.

"Where am I? Where was I going?" Koushiro inquired as he struggled to stand. "Why can't I remember!? I can remember the Hishinkas and everything about that, so why can't I remember where I am or where I was going? WHY?" Koushiro threw his head towards the sky once again in hopes of seeing the blue sky, since he remembered how much it used to comfort him in times of need, but all he saw were ominous clouds instead. 'It must be showing what's inside of me. Darkness and hazy memories of the past. Oh, why can't I remember the good things?'

"WHY," Koushiro screamed at the gray sky.

"Shut up," someone yelled from the building above him. "I'm trying to get some sleep here, you bum!"

Koushiro's shoulders sagged at the last word. It repeated over and over again in his head. Bum…bum…bum…bum…'No! I'm not a bum! I'm Koushiro, the computer genius! I'm not a bum. I CAN'T be a bum…' Koushiro began to weep once again as he tried to remember where he lived and what he had done before living on the street. He struggled to regain some of his memory, but it never came. 'I am a bum. I just can't remember anything else, so I must be nothing more than a bum. What proof do I have that I'm a computer genius? I haven't touched one of those things ever since I can remember. How can I know..' Koushiro pondered as he struggled along the alley. 'I guess this is my destiny.' Koushiro stopped hobbling down the alley and held his arms out towards an empty box.

While pulling it out, Koushiro heard someone approaching him from behind. He looked up from his task and took a glance in the direction of the sound. 'Kaida?' "What are you doing here? Why don't you go find a better home? I can't provide what you need." Kaida still approached him and that's when Koushiro noticed that he had a pair of crutches in his mouth. Koushiro had a look of confusion on his face when he saw the dog place them right beside his feet.

"Why are you being so kind to me? I didn't do anything that great to save your life. In fact, you might have been better off if I had never come. You would have been free from having to worry about a partially lame bum for the rest of your life. Those guys probably would have left you alone anyway," Koushiro sighed. "You should just move on without me." He looked at the dog with a forlorn sense of sadness and sighed once again as he saw that the dog seemingly did not understand. "Go on! Get outta here! Get!" Koushiro yelled as he used his hand to push Kaida backwards. Kaida looked at Koushiro with a look of great despair and confusion as this was done.

"Can't you understand? Leave!" Kaida finally decided that Koushiro meant business and slowly walked away with his tail between his legs. He turned around and gave one last glance to his master before turning around the corner. Koushiro's gaze stared at the point where he last saw his companion and he felt a giant knot in stomach begin to form. 'Again, I'm back to the good old aloof Koushiro.' He looked down at the pavement and then looked back at the place where Kaida had looked back at him. He thought that he saw Kaida's eyes staring at him once again from that very point, but it was just a trick of his mind. He would have given anything to have Kaida come running back around that corner and jump all over him, but Koushiro realized that he was really gone this time. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he forced himself to get up.

"He really left me. He'll be better off anyway," Koushiro mumbled as he grabbed the crutches that Kaida had brought. "Who wouldn't want such an intelligent dog?" Koushiro used placed the crutches beneath his arms and made his way out of the alleyway. As soon as he reached the streets, it began to rain very heavily. People were scuttling to get out of the rain, but Koushiro just stood in place, letting the rain drench him. Streams of iron brown blood and dirt started to be washed away as he stood in place. 'The rain feels so good. It's almost like it's trying to wash away my evil deeds and purify my soul. Sort of like the way Kaida did when we first met.' Koushiro remembered how the dog had tried to tend his wounds and how he always urged him to get up and never give in to his fears and doubts. 'Well, there's nothing stopping them now.'

"Hey mister!" Koushiro felt a small tug at his pant-leg and looked down to see a little girl of about 6 years in age there. "Mister? Do you want my umbrella? You're gonna get soaked if you don't take it." Koushiro didn't say a word and looked away from the girl. "Aren't you going to go home? It's getting really wet out here, you know." Koushiro once again looked at the girl. 'Her eyes look so innocent. If she could only understand.' He looked away once again.

"Hey! Mister! Can't you talk?" Koushiro once again looked at the girl.

"I can speak, but I hardly ever have a soul to talk to. You are the first person in years to speak to me without ridiculing my appearance or beating on me for some reason." Koushiro sighed as he placed the crutches on the ground and bent down to the girl at the best of his ability. "You are so young and innocent. What you doing out here? Where's your mother and father, little one?"

"They're inside the store and why do people do that?"

"Do what?"

"You know. What you just said. Beating up on you and ri…rido…ridicol…"

"Ridicule. That word means to tease and nag in a mean way. I really don't know why. People just think that everyone should all be the same and if one has a disability or lives a different type of life, that person has to be a bad influence on the others." Koushiro noticed the girl's confused look. "Let's use an example. You know the little nerdy kid in your class at school that everyone hates?" The girl nodded her head in comprehension. "Well, everyone constantly teases him, or her, because he, or she, is different from everyone else. Do you see what I mean?"

"That's just horrible! You're so nice. Why do people do such bad things?"

"It's just their nature to do so. There are many scientific explanations for this behavior, but you'll learn about those later." Koushiro reached out his arm and gave the girl a soft noogie-like pat. "Come on. I'll take you to your parents. They're probably worried about you." Koushiro smiled at the little girl while he grabbed his crutches and stood up. The girl smiled back and Koushiro placed a hand on the girl's upper back for a second and helped her go in the door.

When they were inside, Koushiro winced. 'There are so many people. This is just begging for trouble, but I made a promise to this little child.' He looked back down at the girl and she looked back at him with a huge grin. As they walked down the main aisle, the girl looked back up at Koushiro. "I like your hair. Red is my favorite color." Koushiro was surprised at this comment, since his hair hadn't been red in years. He swung himself over to one of the shinier shelves and examined his hair. 'It's really red again! My beloved hair.' Koushiro ran his hands through his hair and would have jumped for joy if he didn't have to stay on his crutches.

The little girl then walked over to Koushiro and wondered what was so interesting. "Hasn't your hair always been red?"

Koushiro laughed. "Well, you see, I haven't been able to take a decent shower in years and that caused a whole bunch of dirt to build up in my hair. It has been a grungy brownish color for about…2 years now." Koushiro laughed again as he combed his hair through his fingers.

"That sounds really nasty."

"Oh, believe me. I didn't enjoy it. Hey…umm…would you like a piggyback ride? I go really fast on these things," Koushiro said as he held up the crutches.

"Yipee! A piggy back ride," yelled the girl as Koushiro bent down so she could get on.

"Make sure to hold on tight because I can't hold you," Koushiro said as he began to move. The girl giggled with delight as Koushiro went around the store. "Having fun yet?"

"Faster! Faster!"

"Okay!" Koushiro tried his best to go as fast as he could for the child since he enjoyed giving other people pleasure for once instead of pain and destruction. "Here we go!" Koushiro quickly passed other people and when he did, he heard several people start to laugh at their foolish antics, but Koushiro didn't care. That's when Koushiro went into the same isle as the girl's mother. The girl stopped laughing as she saw her mother and told Koushiro to stop. The little girl told Koushiro to go over to her mother so he could meet her. He didn't like the idea, but he still obeyed anyway.

"Oh Raye, I was so worried about you." The girl's mother looked at her child and then at Koushiro, who still bore the child on his back. Her eyes widened in panic as she backed away from Koushiro. "Raye! Get off of him! What did I tell you about talking to strangers?" Raye refused to get off of Koushiro, and that's when her mother started to get really angry and started to advance on the duo.

'She's going to do something that I'm going to regret soon if Raye doesn't get off.' "Uh, Raye? I think you should listen to your mother and get off of my back."

"Why?" Before Koushiro had a chance to respond, he girl had been removed from his back and he had been hit in the head with an extremely heavy purse. The next thing he knew, Koushiro was on the floor and the little girl was crying for her mother to stop.

"Help! Child molester! Somebody help!" She continued to hit Koushiro with her purse as he tried to protect himself with his arms. He reached for his crutches, but they were out of range. 'I'm helpless! Again, this is what I get for being kind.'

"Mommy! Stop! He didn't do anything!"

"Yes he did, sweetie. He took you away from the cart!" By this time, several people were watching what was going on.

"No he didn't! I walked outside and he was just standing on the curb. I asked him if he wanted to take my umbrella, since he was getting all wet and stuff. Then, he told me about how people have hurt him for no reason and everything. He's the one who took me back inside!"

"But, he was trying to take you away from me…"

"No he wasn't! I asked him for a piggyback ride and he gave it to me! Stop being so mean to him. Please mommy?" The girl's mother stopped her barrage on Koushiro and her look of anger was replaced with an apologetic one. Koushiro, who was now sobbing from beneath his arms, looked up at the woman who had been attacking him and slowly backed away in fear.

"Please! Don't hurt me anymore! I'll go away and you'll never see me again! I swear that! Just don't hit me anymore, please," Koushiro frantically said as he covered himself with one of his arms while using the other one to get his crutches.

Noticing what she had done, Raye's mother walked up to Koushiro and pried his arm away from his face. She saw the fear in his eyes and how he flinched every time she touched him. "I'm so sorry, young man. I shouldn't have been so hasty at my assumptions." The woman pulled away from Koushiro and went back to Raye and walked off. Just like Kaida had, Raye gave Koushiro one last look and the disappeared. Koushiro shed a single tear and then turned to notice that everyone was watching him.

"What? Are all of you here to ridicule the poor homeless kid too? Go ahead! See if I care," Koushiro yelled as he began to shed more tears. He picked himself up from the floor and hobbled around to his get his crutches. As soon as he had them under his arms, he took off as fast as he could. 'I have to get away from here! Away from all these people who don't understand me,' Koushiro screamed mentally as he swung out the door. It was raining really heavily now, but Koushiro didn't care. He just wanted to be alone. 'When you are alone, no one can tease you or try to kill you,' Koushiro concluded as he set himself down on a nearby bench. 'I bet I could just die on the bench here and no one would notice until I was starting to decay.'

As Koushiro's depression grew, so did a small pain within his chest. Soon, Koushiro was panting heavily while sitting on the bench, grabbing his chest tightly. 'What's happening to me? I must be dying,' Koushiro said as the burning sensation in his heart center became stronger. When Koushiro thought that he was going to perish because of the pain, it suddenly stopped. His hand dropped from his chest and hung limply at his side while his eyes were closed tightly. His sweat and the raindrops merged into one and fell down Koushiro's face in beautiful streams of crystalline sadness.

The rain was now coming down in torrents and Koushiro was soaked to the bone. 'I have to get up. What good would I do if I died right now? Then again, what good would I do if I died later? Oh hell, I might as well get up. I have nothing to lose. At least I'll get to see all of Japan before I go,' Koushiro reasoned with himself as he forced himself off of the bench. It was then that someone grabbed him from behind and pulled him into a darkened alley.

"Gimme everythang ya got an ya or I'll slit ya throat like a knife through buttah." A blade was then pressed against Koushiro's throat and he grimaced at it causes a small cut to appear on a part of his throat.

"I…I don't have any mo…money."

"Yeah ya do. Everyone here has some type ah money on 'em." The knife was pushed even closer to Koushiro's throat. He looked down at the blade and he gulped as he looked back up.

"I'm telling you that I don't possess anything in the slightest relation to money."

"Quit lyin', punk. Give me ya money!"

"I don't have any!" Koushiro then kicked his offender in his private and tried to get away. As he picking up the crutch he had dropped, the collapsing man's knife blade cut through part of Koushiro's side. He grimaced in pain as it struck, but he kept going on. 'This is not good,' he thought as he raced back towards the store. He was getting slower and slower as he reached the door and the man who attacked him was gaining ground. 'He'll kill me if he catches me,' Koushiro frantically has he reached for the door handle. He never got the chance to open it though for the man grabbed him from behind and stabbed him in the back. Koushiro's eyes opened wide as he fell to the ground.

'I'm dying. I'm finally dying…and I'm scared to death. I'm scared…I don't want to die yet. I don't want to!' Koushiro's eyes slowly closed as he fell into unconsciousness and he felt that he would never see the light of day again. That's when something appeared out of nowhere and attacked Koushiro's attacker with a vengeance. 'What's…what's going on..' Koushiro thought weakly as he realized that his deathblow was not coming. That's when he felt a slick tongue pass over his face. 'Kaida? You…came..back..' Those were his last thoughts before everything shut down in his mind.

***

Inside the store, Raye and her mother were just finishing going through the checkout line and were preparing to leave the store.

"Did you get everything you wanted, dear?"

"Yes, mommy," Raye said with depression present in her voice. That's when she noticed something strange was lying right outside of the door. "Mommy, what's that?"

Raye's mother looked up from her purse and took a look as well. "I don't know, sweetie. It's probably someone's trash or something," she said as she went back to sorting through her purse.

"Well, I'm gonna to take a look for myself," Raye said as she walked through the automatic doors. She gasped when she saw that it was a person lying on the ground…and that the person had red hair and crutches. She ran outside and started to shake Koushiro, but all she received was a crack of his eyelids and a couple of words before he fell back into unconsciousness. Raye picked up her hands and saw that they were covered in some type of red substance. She also noticed that there was a dog lying right next to the man and that there was also a knife nearby. She got up and ran back inside to her mother, screaming for her the entire way. "Mommy! Mommy! That one guy is lying outside! There's all this red stuff around him too." Raye showed her hands to her mother, but she wasn't looking. "Mommy! Listen to me! You have to go outside and see! Come on!" Raye pulled at her mother's sleeve and stained her mother's shirt with some of Koushiro's blood.

"Now, wait a second honey. I have to find something first…what's that on your hands?"

"I told you! It came from the guy that was lying outside of the door!"

"You're kidding me, right? You know that joking is not good to do on these types of things. I've told that several…"

"I'm not kidding, mommy! Go look for yourself." Raye's mother put down her purse and cautiously walked towards the door. When it opened, she gasped in horror at Koushiro, who was now lying in a pool of own blood and barely breathing. "Oh my gods! Somebody call an ambulance," she screamed as she ran down the store's exit corridor and to the cashier area. "Somebody call an ambulance! There's a guy lying outside and it looks like he was stabbed in the back!"

***

__

"Murderer. Liar. Traitor. Deserter. Molester. Coward. Victim. My my Koushiro. This list just keeps getting bigger, now doesn't it?" The statement received no response. "Oh, so is the big strong man too weak to answer me?"

Koushiro forced his eyes to open a crack and he looked up at his father, who was standing over him. "Can't you let me die in peace? You're finally getting what you wanted, so just leave me alone," Koushiro retorted weakly as he closed his eyes again, but he opened them again when he felt a foot turning him over. His backside hit the ground hard enough to cause Koushiro's back-wound to cause him immense pain. 'I can't cry out. Not in front of him. It'll show my weakness and he'll truly win. I can't let him win,' Koushiro vowed as he fully opened his eyes. Koushiro suddenly found the strength to stand and face his father. __

"Well well. Did you finally decide to wake up?"

"Back…off…" Koushiro panted as he tried to stand straight up. "I…refuse…to…to die like…a helpless…child."

"Oh, believe me. If I wanted you dead right now, you would be. I'm still playing with you. Fooling with your mind is a great way to pass the time for me and you think I'm going to stop so soon? I enjoy your suffering."

"You…pig! How…could anyone…enjoy…some…something like that? It's inhumane!" Koushiro struggled to stay standing after that last outburst, which caused him to sway from side to side. His one leg then gave out and Koushiro slammed into the floor.

"Why should I tell you if you won't remember a thing I tell you a few seconds?" Then, everything went black for Koushiro.

***

"Doctor Kido, please report to the intensive care unit. Doctor Kido, please report to intensive care." Koushiro looked around the room he was in. 'White. Everything's so white. Where am I? What happened? Where's Kaida?' Koushiro tried to move his hands so he could take off the mask that had been placed on his face, but his body refused to cooperate. 'Why can't I move?' He then felt that there was some type of injury on his back. 'Oh no! I must be at the hospital! They're going to put me in jail after this,' Koushiro thought as he struggled to move.

Meanwhile, Dr. Jyou Kido walked down the hallway towards his next patient's room. Once there, he read the medical forms that were in the little door-box and his eyes widened in disbelief. 'No…it can't be him! Can it?' Jyou put down the medical forms and cracked the door open to take a peek inside before entering. The first thing he noticed was the flaming red hair. 'My gods….it IS him.' He also noticed that his "dead" friend's eyes were frantically darting around the room. 'Wow. After going through all that, he is already awake? Amazing,' Jyou mused as he entered the room.

"Well, Koushiro. Long time no see! How are you doing buddy?" He walked over to Koushiro and removed the oxygen mask from his friend's face.

"Who are you? Where am I?" Koushiro had a look of pure confusion on his face.

"What do you mean 'who am I'? Don't tell me that you don't remember anything about our adventures together."

"What adventures? All I remember is living on the streets and everyone hating me for what I was. I even hate myself."

Jyou's expression was growing grim as he began to realize that Koushiro was serious. "What's your last name?"

"I…I don't remember. I've had no need for it, so I guess I just lost it."

Jyou's eyes began to water as he lifted Koushiro enough to hug him. "I don't care if you don't remember anything about what happened before you left. I'm just glad that you're back! Everyone has missed your computer antics and your wonderful laugh…we…we all thought someone came into your house and murdered you and your mother. I never….never gave up on you. I always thought you were out there…somewhere. I'm…I'm so sorry for not finding you sooner!" Jyou then started to sob into Koushiro's shoulder.

'I must have known this guy from somewhere important for him to be crying this much. I'd comfort him, but I can't move.' "Umm…could you let me go?"

Jyou wiped his nose and placed Koushiro back onto the bed. "I'm sorry about that. You have no clue how much we missed you…"

"No one missed me. I'm just a worthless, cold-hearted bum who is responsible for the deaths of two sets of parents," Koushiro sighed as he turned his head to look out the window.

"What?!"

***

Note: Again, this fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but I got sick of that name really fast. This new one is more appropriate anyway.


	4. Choices Made...

Where Do I Belong

Deceptions of Truth Saga

By: Strata-chan

Note: If I find any more grammatical mistakes in these chapters, I am going to flip out! Anyway, I really would like some reviews on this story. I have put a lot of thought into it and I'd really like to know what you think.

Note: This fic used to be called "Where Do I Belong", but I changed the title.

***

I need a spirit who can touch my life, __

I need a voice to speak the truth.

I need a soul that will be on my side,

I need a heart that I will never lose.

Someone like you…

Sometimes I wonder if my dreams are real,

Sometimes I know they'll all come true.

I need somebody who can move my world,

Someone who knows just what to do.

Someone like you…

Lyrics from "Songs from N.Y.C Underground 3" by Louie Devito

***

"What?!? What are you saying, Koushiro? You're not serious, are you?"

Koushiro looked at his "friend" with sorrowful eyes and he wished that this person would just leave him alone. "I'm serious, now leave me alone." Koushiro turned his eyes back towards the window and sighed heavily.

'What has happened to him,' Jyou pondered as he heard Koushiro sigh. He clenched his hand into a fist as he continued to stare at the back of his friend. 'If I ever get my hands on the thing that did this to him, I'll pound the bastard into the ground with my bare hands. Nobody does this to my friends,' he thought as his eyes narrowed at the window beyond Koushiro. The redhead turned around again and Jyou's eyes returned to normal since he didn't want Koushiro to be offended by his stare.

"Why won't you just leave me alone! I don't want your help! I don't NEED your help! Why would I need it?" Jyou flinched at Koushiro's harsh words and looked at him with look that both expressed fear and sadness. 'He has never acted so harshly towards anyone before. I guess…' Jyou swallowed the lump in his throat. '…I guess he really has forgotten everything. I can't believe it.' Jyou slowly got up and walked over to Koushiro's bed to check on some of the medical equipment. He shuddered as he saw Koushiro's cold stare looking directly at him as he bent over him.

"What are you doing?" The venom in his voice frightened Jyou.

"I…." Jyou realized the unsteadiness in his voice and corrected it. "I'm just checking the medical equipment, sir." Jyou did a mental shudder as he said the word "sir". It sounded so cold, which didn't seem right to say to Koushiro.

"Well, check it some other time and leave me alone. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Jyou again swallowed his sadness and gave Koushiro a stare that he meant business. "Do you want to die? Hmm? If I don't check this equipment right now, it could fail and dying would be your only option!' Jyou once again bent over the bed.

Koushiro suddenly discovered that he could move his left arm once again and used it against his "offender". He directed his hit to Jyou's abdominal region and he gave it his all. He watched as his victim collapsed and cried out when he hit the floor. 'That'll teach people to listen to me.'

As he lied on the floor, Jyou heard several footsteps coming down the hallway. 'No! They'll put him in the Psychological Ward if they find out about this. I can't let that happen. The last thing Koushiro needs is to be bound to a bed with no one to talk to.' Jyou couldn't help his eyes from watering a little as the muscles in his abdomen began to contract. That's when the door opened.

"What's going on in….Dr. Kido! Are you alright?" He felt two pairs of hands lifting him from the floor. That caused his abdomen to hurt even more, but he had to prove that he was alright.

"I'm fine." Jyou managed to spurt out those words as he looked at Koushiro, who had once again turned towards the window.

"He punched you, didn't he? The nerve of that punk!" Koushiro flinched as he heard those words. "We're going to have to move him from this wing…"

"No! I….I mean…no. Please don't move him. I provoked him repeatedly. It wasn't his fault." Jyou blurted out as he looked at his companion with pleading eyes.

The other doctor gave Jyou a skeptical look as he turned back towards the patient in question. "Well, I wouldn't recommend that, but, you've been one of our best here, so I'll trust your word." With that, everyone left, leaving Jyou and Koushiro alone. As soon as the door closed, Jyou kneeled back on the ground and was sweating profusely.

"Well…Koushiro..I must say that…that you pack a hard punch…" he panted as he looked up at Koushiro with a smile. He noticed that there was no reaction. Worried, Jyou slowly crawled over to his friend's bedside and discovered that Koushiro had fallen asleep. 'Well, I better not wake him up. He needs his rest…..but I should check the medical equipment first before leaving.' Jyou rose and bent over a bit as his abdominal region began to cause him pain again, but it soon passed. He turned towards Koushiro once again and shed a single tear of regret. 'I wish I could have been with you, but I can promise you now that I will always be there for you. I swear, I will keep that promise no matter what it takes.' Jyou removed his hands from his abdomen and used his right hand to ruffle through Koushiro's hair and then turned to the heart monitor and IV line..

***

"Well, my son. You have changed haven't you. Now you beat up on your own friends. Really friendly of you, don't you think?" __

Koushiro's eyes narrowed at the darkness surrounding him. "I don't know what you are taking about."

"My plan is working. This world is making you forget yourself. You can remember your hate and anguish, but you can't remember what you have done to receive those feelings. That makes you more vulnerable."

"Will you back off already!? I hate you!" Koushiro only wished that there was something for him to hit. Maybe to even kill if that would make that unbearable anger disappear. "Come out of the shadows and face me!"

"…And stop this wonderful show? Your hate is precisely why I'm here. It gives me pleasure. As it grows, I grow stronger. Can't you figure that out, oh intelligent one?"

Flames burned deep within Koushiro's eyes as he gazed through the darkness. "Damn you! Damn you! Why can't you just leave me alone? Go back to hell, or wherever you came from, you demon!" Koushiro's anger rose as he clenched his hands into fists. "Why don't we end this right now? Hmm?"

"Because I would kill you and I'm having too much fun looking at your suffering. Haven't you even looked at yourself on the inside lately? Humph. Pathetic…and I love watching your self-destruction. It's like testing a theory really."

Koushiro thought he saw a flicker of light and he turned around just to be greeted with more darkness. 'Damn it! Why can't everyone just leave me alone?' Koushiro kneeled down onto the floor and covered his legs with his body. 'I don't want to be hurt anymore.'

'Good. I'll end this premonition right here and all he will feel is the feeling left behind by it. I'll let him create his own situation for it. I just love myself,' the voice thought as he looked upon his defeated nemesis. 'Nothing can stand in my way.'

The demon removed itself from the shadows and appeared over Koushiro's crumpled form. As it prepared to recite the incantation, a bright white light appeared and blinded the demon from his task! 'What is this light,' it thought as it used its bony hand to shield its eyes. That's when a sleek figure appeared from the tunnel of brilliance. It had wings of silver whose feathers shone like the rays of the morning sun upon a mirror. It had the body of a white wolf and had blue eyes that were as sharp as a hawk's. Lastly, his tail was that of a horse. Its ebony bristles glimmered in the light behind them, which made this being look like a celestial spirit.

"I cannot allow you to hurt this child! He is a fallen angel whom I must protect! As long as I exist, you cannot harm him." The figure moved in front of the child and bared its teeth.

"Is that so? That's precisely why I need him destroyed. Did you think I was just picking on any innocent little child? Ha! That's a laugh."

The wolf-like seraph gave a low growl that was aimed directly at the demon before it. "Let him be, or I will be forced to destroy you, which is not my purpose. I have given you fair warning."

The demon backed into the shadows once again. "I will destroy you at another time then. You will soon see my true power and that child will be defeated." The voice then vanished altogether. The shimmering spirit stood and stared at the spot that the demon had once stood.

'I wonder why he deserted the battlefield? He knows that he is much more powerful than I. He's just playing with me and trying to let my own fears destroy my purity and strength. I must protect this child no matter what the cost is.' It turned to Koushiro, who was still kneeling on the ground with his hands buried within his hair. The angel gently walked over to where Koushiro sat and bowed its head down to Koushiro's.

"Leave me alone. Everyone leave me alone. Just leave me alone," Koushiro was mumbling. His face was contorted into one of pure mental anguish, for his eyes were closed tightly and his teeth were clenched together.

'The poor child.' The spirit nudged Koushiro's head, which startled the boy. His hand instinctively came up to hit the guardian in the face. It reeled back, but it returned to Koushiro's side almost immediately. "I'm sorry if I startled you." The creature bowed its head. "I'm here to protect you from the darkness, my child."

"You're too late," Koushiro replied with venom in is voice. "I've already been swallowed up in it for years." Koushiro turned his head away from the light and backed away while looking towards the ground. The angel, seeing the child's despair, decided to take on a more comforting form. The wolf-like creature changed into a beautiful young woman, with flowing auburn hair that reached to her knees. It flowed freely in the air as she stood. Her skin was as pale as the moon, which made her rose-colored lips become more prominent. The kimono she wore was made from pure silk and was ivory in color. There was the kanji of "healing" embroidered all throughout the cloth and the material also flowed through the air. When she walked, it looked like a cascade of white water was flowing behind her. Koushiro turned around.

"Wha…what are you?" Koushiro stumbled over his own words. "What are you going to try to do?" The woman gazed at him with her azure eyes and treaded over to Koushiro. He felt both fear and amazement at the same time as she came up to him. 'She is beautiful…what am I saying?' Koushiro mentally slapped himself for thinking such things. 'She's nothing but trouble. That's what all people are, Koushiro…but…how do I know that she is human?'

The goddess reached her hand down towards the frightened Koushiro and lifted his chin towards toward her face. Koushiro's eyes were wide as she kneeled in front of him and let his chin rest. "You have nothing to fear from me, child. I do not wish to harm you. I am your guardian." Koushiro stared at the benevolent woman in front of him and then looked at the light, which now shone behind him.

"Yes, Koushiro, that light can guide you. That is, if you wish it to be your beacon." The boy turned to face the matron and lowered his head.

"Why are you helping me? Are you even human?"

"I can be whatever I wish. I am truly just a force that has no form, but when I need to communicate with a soul, I must take a form. I chose this form for you because of the comfort that comes with it."

"You still have not answered my first question."

"That's because I cannot reveal that information. It is for your own good…"

"Yeah right! Is it because you think I'm too young to understand or because I'm too ignorant," Koushiro yelled as he turned away from the woman and stared into the tunnel of light that lay before him. He liked the feel of the light upon his face and its rays reminded him of the sun. He turned back and around and saw that the angel had not even moved from her seated position.

"You hold much anger, Koushiro. That's what is feeding the dark forces. You also hold much guilt, sorrow and regret. You must defeat those feelings within your heart and it is a battle only you can fight. I can only protect you from the outside, but I cannot stop a person's interior destruction." The angel then bowed her head and looked towards the ground. 'I wish I could my child. You have no clue how much you are worth to the world, and it pains me that I can't tell you this. I just hope this is a battle you can win.'

"Please…don't be sad because of my pains. I do not wish anyone to worry about myself. What would be the point after all? I'm nothing special."

'Don't say that, my child. Please, don't drag yourself down any further into the darkness,' the angel thought as she watched Koushiro turn towards the light once again.

"I really don't even know why you are even bothering with my presence. I've caused…so much pain to others in my life. My presence is a curse to others, including myself."

"Koushiro…you are not worthless and you are not cursed. You are a wonderful being and several others see that." She then waved her hand in the air and created an invisible doorway to the outside world. "This is your hospital room and that man is the person is Jyou Kido. He was your best friend and he still is." Koushiro saw the blue-haired man walk around the IV and the heart monitor for a while and it seemed that he didn't even care about the patient.

"If that person is me, then he doesn't seem like a friend to me. Look how he is just passing me…" Koushiro stopped when he saw what happened next. He saw the man sit down on the bed and comb his hand through Koushiro's hair. Jyou just sat there gazing upon Koushiro's face and allowed a tear to run down his face onto Koushiro's body. His eyes then began to water profusely as he picked up Koushiro's still form and hugged him. Jyou's sobs racked his entire body along with Koushiro's as he lied him back onto the bed. The window then gave a close-up of Jyou's face and Koushiro then saw the genuine look of a mixture of happiness and depression that he wore. A single tear rolled down Koushiro's cheek as he realized what he had done earlier and that this man truly cared for him.

"See, Koushiro? There are people that care about you. There comes another too. His name is Yamato Ishida."

"You mean…he's coming to see me? Who are these people?"

"That is something that you must remember on your own."

"Wha…" Before Koushiro could answer, the tunnel of light began to take him away.

"Remember Koushiro! Fight the darkness in your heart! Fight! Fight…fight…fight…fight…" The echo slowly faded as Koushiro found himself within a world of light.

***

Jyou slowly paced around the room as he saw the heart monitor start to slow down. 'I can't call the others in here. They'd treat him with medicines that won't work on him and treat him brutally. I won't let them touch you, Koushiro. Never. Jyou sat on Koushiro's bed once again as he ran a hand through the hair of the still body before him. He looked away from Koushiro's still form to look at the monitor, which was still showing a slowing heartbeat. 'Please pull through, Koushiro. I can't lose you again. Not like this.' Jyou laid his head upon Koushiro's chest and started to sob once again. 'Please, do this for me. I…I…' Jyou's thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door. Startled, he fell from the bed and landed against the wall.

"I swear! I wasn't doing anything! Just checking his pulse, that's all!" Jyou retorted while he stood up. That's when he saw that it was only Yamato. "Oh, Yamato. You came! I'm so glad." Jyou walked over and gave Yamato a large hug. He walked over to the bed and placed the flowers he had brought with him beside the bed.

"Umm…Yamato? I wouldn't get too close if I were you. Something awful has happened to him so that he has contracted amnesia or something of that nature. He can't even remember his own last name…or me." The last part of that sentence was mumbled as Jyou turned his head away from the scene. "He's also losing blood pressure quickly and I don't want those other doctors touching him. If it keeps dropping like it is though, I'll have to ask for them to come. I…I just don't know what to do!" Jyou's calm face turned into one of panic as he looked over at Yamato and Koushiro. Yamato stopped looking out the window that was by Koushiro's bed and walked over to comfort him.

"Jyou...It has to be hard to see Koushiro like this, but…"

"Yamato, you don't know the half of it. He's….different. I can't quite put my finger on why, but he's become angry. Towards everyone. He punched me in the gut earlier when I was trying to check the heart monitor! Before that, he told me that he hated himself and that he was the cause of the death of both sets of parents. He wanted me to leave him alone and not try to talk to him. Now, he's dying and you know what? I'm responsible for it! I kept bothering him, so he fell into this coma right after he punched me. It's all my fault…" Jyou then hugged Yamato again and sobbed into his shirt.

"Oh gods, Jyou…I had no idea…" Yamato looked back at Koushiro's still form, which was now sweating and breathing with shallow, ragged breaths. 'Why did this have to happen to Koushiro? Sure, he was a real jerk, but still…no one deserves this. What'll happen to Jyou if he goes? I've never seen the poor guy so emotional before,' Yamato thought as he allowed Jyou to release all of his tears on him. That's when the heart monitor started beeping radically. "Oh my gods…Jyou! Jyou! Th…the…little line thing has stopped moving!"

Jyou looked up from Yamato's shoulder and to the heart monitor, who has stopped pulsating and started creating a monotone sound. That sound echoed in his mind like it would be the last thing he would ever hear. 'No…I won't let you die!' Jyou ran over to the bed and threw off all the quilts. Ripping off Koushiro's top in order to get to his chest, he began the first set of 15 compressions of CPR.

"One! Two! Three! Come on! Five! Six! 'This can't be happening to me.' Seven! Eight! 'Please, don't die Koushiro!' Nine! Ten! 'I can't bear the thought,' Eleven! Twelve! '…that you would die…' Thirteen! Fourteen! '…because of me.' Fifteen!" Jyou placed his head over Koushiro's chest and listened for any sign of a heartbeat. Nothing. Jyou then tilted Koushiro's head back and placed his mouth over his in order to give him two breaths. This cycle continued for several minutes until Jyou collapsed from exhaustion.

"Must….keep….going," Jyou panted as he raised himself from the bed. That's when Yamato's hands stopped Jyou from continuing.

"Jyou, he's…" Yamato gulped, "…he's gone. You did everything you could…"

"No! I didn't! He's not going to die! He's not…goin…" Jyou slowly slowed down his speech as he looked upon Koushiro's body and everything went silent in Jyou's head. He could see Yamato's lips moving and the monitor's flat line, but all the sound that he could hear was his own heartbeat. 'Oh gods…I've failed you again Koushiro. I said that I would protect you from anything and I failed to do that.' Jyou felt his legs give and he collapsed against the wall. He pulled his legs up to his chest and just stared at the bed. Yamato sat down next to Jyou and placed an arm around his shoulders.

"You did everything you could, Jyou. I've never seen you in such a frenzy before. I mean, it was beautiful in a way. Koushiro probably appreciates that very much…" Yamato looked at Jyou and realized that his comforts were falling on deaf ears. "Jyou?"

'How could I be such a failure. I've saved so many others, why couldn't I save him? Why? It seems like some type of cruel punishment aimed at me. Punishment for my foolish and selfish things that I have done.' Jyou looked at the door when he heard it open. That's when a nurse walked in the door. She saw what had happened and called for some assistance in removing the body. Jyou looked back down at the floor and wondered how she could have been so unaffected by this. 'Quit being stupid, Jyou. She sees this type of thing everyday and it isn't like Koushiro's death made any difference to her. She must have been more surprised to see Mr. I'm-the-best-doctor-in-the-building on the floor in tears over this.' Jyou suddenly stood up from the floor, which caused Yamato to fall over, and walked over to Koushiro's pale figure. 'So pale. I never thought I'd see you like this Koushiro…never in my wildest dreams…' Jyou picked up Koushiro's still form and held it tightly. "Please come back, Koushiro! Come back!"

***

"Please come back, Koushiro! Come back!" Koushiro's eyes slowly opened, only to shield them with his left arm. He looked around for the source of the voice, but he couldn't see where it came from. __

"…Come back, Koushiro. Come back!" The cry was a little fainter this time.

"…Koushiro. Come back…" This time it was softer than the last. "…come back…come back…back…back…back.." Silence the reigned in the world of light as Koushiro moved forward. That's when he saw the angel he had seen before he had been taken into this light. She emitted a pure radiance that filled the entire world of light and Koushiro had to close his eyes because of it. He felt himself being lifted from the spot that he lay and that's when he blacked out.

***

Koushiro awoke to find himself in a field of golden wheat with a deep-blue sky above him. He stood up and took a good look around him. 'It's…beautiful. It's just breathtaking. The peace in this place is wonderful.' Koushiro looked out upon the field and watched the wheat flow back and forth in the wind. As the wind ruffled Koushiro's hair, he closed his eyes and tilted his head back towards the sky. 'This is paradise.' He opened his eyes once more and gazed forwards to discover a white being ahead of him. __

'What is it? It moves like the flowing currents of a waterfall and looks like the first lone snowflake of winter. I wonder…could it be her?' Koushiro began to run towards the being to discover the angel that had rescued him from his world of darkness. "Why, hello there." Koushiro bowed towards the angel, but she did not return the gesture. She just stood in place, looking at something in the distance. Koushiro turned to look and saw that she was gazing upon a figure with blue hair. Then, it disappeared as suddenly as it came.

"Koushiro, you have found peace here, but is it truly what you think it is? Yes, it is free from the turmoil of life, but do you really wish to be alone for the rest of your life?" Then, an image of the figure seen before appeared next to the duo.

"…come back…" it whispered before disappearing. Koushiro just looked away and looked up towards the sky.

"Yes, this truly is peace and being alone is my destiny…"

"How can you know your own destiny? What happens if this is the wrong path? Once I leave you, this will be your eternal resting-place. No matter how far you travel, you will always be alone and that is not what you want…"

"How could you possibly know what I do and don't want? That's my point. You don't. No one does."

"That "no one" includes yourself, Koushiro. You just can't accept that. If you die now, you are letting the suffering inside of you win. Do you think that is the wisest choice, my child?"

Koushiro tried to think of a response, but he could not. He turned his head away from her and looked at the ground. 'She's right. I don't know what I want. I've never known what I want. I've always been so confused.' Koushiro then felt a hand upon his shoulder. He turned to face the archangel and smiled. "I choose to go back. Like I've said before, what is the point of me dying right now?" Koushiro lifted his shoulders and hands as he said that last statement. He saw her smile and he felt that he had made the right choice for once in his life.

"Good choice, my child. You will not live to regret this decision. I can promise you that." The spirit then bowed her head and Koushiro's spirit form slowly faded away. She watched until he completely disappeared and saw him wave before completely leaving that realm. 'Good luck, Koushiro. I will be with you shortly,' the angel thought as she transformed back into her wolf-like form. 'Be strong until then.'

***

Burning. A constant burning that ached throughout his body. 'Air. I need air!' Koushiro tried to breathe, but there was something blocking his air passage. 'Come on! I need air!' That's when Koushiro felt like something has been reconnected to himself. 'I must be back!' He opened his eyes suddenly and realized that he was still in his hospital room with some sort of bag being zipped up around him. Sobs were coming from one direction and the murmur of people from the other. That's when Koushiro gasped for air and grabbed his throat.

"Oh my gods! What the hell…" the doctor that was zipping up the body bag exclaimed as he jumped backwards. "That's not possible! He's been dead for a good ten minutes now! That's just not right!"

Jyou looked up from Yamato's shoulder and over at Koushiro, who was now sitting up and coughing wildly. 'My gods….Koushiro!' Jyou ran over and squeezed his friend as tight as he could. "Koushiro! You're alive! I can't believe it! You came back! Oh, you came back! I'm….I'm s..so happy!" Jyou broke down into tears as he held Koushiro within his arms. Koushiro then realized that this man had been the one calling him back. 'Why would he do that? Who is he?'

Jyou let Koushiro back down onto the bed and removed the body bag from him. "I'm sorry, Koushiro. You still don't remember me and you probably think I'm a psycho or something like that now." The blue-haired man turned his face away from Koushiro and looked hurt some way, but also joyous at the same time. "If you want, I'll go away and never bug you again. I'm sorry for what happened before. I was being stupid and…"

"Stop apologizing." Koushiro said regretfully as he looked down upon the bed sheets. "You didn't do anything. I was being brash when I punched you in the stomach. I was way out of hand and you had a right to check those machines." Koushiro then got up from the bad and walked around the room a bit.

Jyou and the other doctors watched in a stupor as they watched this. "K..koushiro! You're walking! You aren't supposed to be able to walk for the rest of your life because of that puncture to the base of your spine! I…I…" Jyou stopped when he saw Koushiro turn around. There was no scar or scratch of any kind left from his encounter. In fact, it was like he had never been attacked in the first place. 'It's a miracle.'

Yamato's mouth had been stuck in the same position ever since Koushiro has just arisen from the dead. It was dropped open and his finger was shakily pointing at the body bag, which now lay empty on the bed. His eyes were bugged-out and his hair looked like it was standing straight up on-end. "But….but…but you…you…were….were…" Yamato slapped himself in the head. "Much better. You were dead! I mean, you were there and now you're here and now you're not paralyzed and you're walking and everything and….It doesn't make sense!"

"Well, you see something new everyday," Koushiro said as he smiled at Yamato.

***

Tell me what you think of this story so far and write me some reviews! I'm beginning to feel unloved. *sniffles*

Koushiro: I love you SC. I don't enjoy being near-death though. *smiles and begins to squeeze SC*

Jyou: Umm…well. Please write SC some reviews for her story here. Please?

SC: Help…must….breathe….let….go…

Koushiro: *drops SC and starts to give her a noogie*

SC: *sweatdrop*

Jyou: *sighs* Anyway, this fic used to be called "Where Do I Belong", but SC hated the title, so she got rid of it.

SC: *recovers from the noogie* Hey! I didn't hate it! I just felt that it got old and that it didn't fit the plot anymore.

Jyou: *sarcastically* Sure….we all believe you.


	5. An Outstretched Hand...

Where Do I Belong

Deceptions of Truth Saga

By: Strata-chan

***

That's it! I have flipped! I am going to read through this entire chapter BEFORE submitting it. This stupid grammatical check does not catch everything for some reason. Anyway, please review this story. I'd really like to know what you think.

WARNING: There were some **hints** of Shounen-Ai (male x male) in the previous chapter, if you didn't notice, and there are some hints of it in this chapter. In fact, there are going to be several hints as the story comes along. If you are a person who is against these types of relationships, then please leave now and don't flame me about it. Also, this fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but I changed it because it no longer fit the story very well.

***

When I'm all alone and no one else is there, __

Waiting by the phone to remind me that I'm still here.

When shadows paint the scenes where spotlights used to fall,

And I'm left wondering, "Is it really worth is all?"

There's a peace inside of us all; let it be your friend.

It will help you carry on.

In the end, there is peace inside us all…

Lyrics from "Inside Us All" by Creed

***

"Ha ha. Very funny, Koushiro," Yamato answered sarcastically as he looked at Koushiro.

"What I'd like to know is who are you……and you," Koushiro asked as he pointed at Yamato and Jyou. His eyes showed that he was utterly confused as to where he was as well.

"Umm…Koushiro? You're at Nichinan (Yes, this is a real city within Japan.) Hospital. I'm Yamato and he's Jyou. Don't you remember anything that happened to you before now," Yamato asked while scratching his head. Koushiro displayed a look of confusion as he tried to remember anything he could.

"It's all so foggy that I can't make head or tails of anything. I can barely remember my name. All I can remember are emotions from things and not the event itself…" Koushiro paused as a look of depression crossed his face. He sat down on the floor and ran his hands through his hair while staring towards the wall. "It's just so puzzling. I can FEEL the sadness and anger from something, but I can't remember much of anything. There are a few memories that are very clear now, but the others….It's like a person with poor vision is trying to read my memories from a distance. I'm…I'm really sorry that I can't remember either of you. I must have really been important to you guys, but…" Koushiro trailed off once again as he began to stare into space.

Jyou just stood in place as he gazed upon Koushiro's crouched form. 'Why am I not doing anything? Why? Is it because…no. That's just not right. I'm just being selfish again. I have to do something to comfort the poor guy,' Jyou thought as he walked over to Koushiro and placed a hand upon his shoulder. "Koushiro, don't strain yourself over it. I'm sure that you will be able to remember later."

Koushiro looked up into the eyes of the person above him and gazed into his eyes. 'They're so dark and turbulent. They sort of remind me of my own.' Koushiro looked back down. 'I wonder what types of secrets they are hiding behind them.' He stood up while still looking down at the floor. "Yeah, I guess you have a point. Things are bound to get better sometime soon, right?" As he said this, he saw the blue-haired man's eyes brighten and a smile appear on his lips, which made Koushiro actually believe the words he said. 'Maybe things will get better.'

Yamato had just stared at his two friends and had been thinking to himself what could possibly be going on. 'Jyou is acting really over-emotional. I mean, for him anyway. Ever since Koushiro left, he's just bottled himself inside and had begun to talk in medical jargon 24 hours a day. Now, it's like something has been let loose again. Jyou always was afraid to let others know his true feelings about everything and it's just strange that Koushiro has this effect on him. I guess losing your best friend can do that.' Yamato closed his eyes and walked over to the group and opened his arm wide. "Come on, everyone! Group hug!" Yamato then grabbed Jyou and Koushiro and squeezed as hard as he could.

"Let….go…..must..breathe…" Koushiro gasped as he was being squeezed. He began to laugh when the blond-haired man chuckled at his predicament. 'What a funny person,' he thought as the arms around him tightened. Jyou, on the other hand, was beginning to blush profusely and didn't seem to enjoy being so close to everyone. Yamato let go and Koushiro was still chuckling a bit when he landed on the floor, but Jyou was just backing away from the situation while blushing even more.

"What's wrong, Jyou?" Jyou seemed surprised at that remark. He stood up and brushed himself off and looked at Yamato.

"Umm…nothing's wrong. I'm….I was just surprised, that's all." Jyou gave Yamato a fake smile and then found a nearby rut in the floor interesting.

'He's hiding something,' Yamato thought as he looked at Jyou, then Koushiro, who was still giggling a little, and then back at Jyou, who was now using his foot to see how deep the groove in the floor was. "Jyou, are you sure that you are okay?" He didn't receive a response. "Jyou?" Still, no response. Yamato walked over to Jyou and tapped on his shoulder to get his attention. When he did that, he jumped several feet off of the floor and got into a lame fighting stance.

Yamato burst out laughing as he saw that and leaned against the wall in order to not fall backwards. Jyou looked hurt by these actions and Yamato tried to stop laughing, but it was so hard. "I'm sorry, Jyou. It's just…it's just that was so priceless. Anyway, are you sure that you are alright? I'm sorry if I did anything wrong." Jyou's eyes looked like they were going to burst out in tears at any moment.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm just not used to all of these things, you know? This doesn't happen everyday and it's just a shock to me." Jyou said as he weakly smiled at Yamato and then down at Koushiro, who still hadn't removed himself from the floor. He looked into Koushiro's ebony eyes and was mesmerized by the depth they held. It was like staring into the blackness of space. So cold, so peaceful, yet so turbulent at the same time…Jyou pulled away before any other thoughts could come to his mind. "I'm…I'm very sorry, but…" He looked down at Koushiro again and then spoke very quickly. "…I have to leave now." Jyou ran out of the door as fast as he could, which caused him to slip as he ran down the hallway. A couple shouts and crashes were heard shortly after.

'Now, I KNOW something it wrong with him,' Yamato thought as he looked out of the door to discover several medical carts had been tipped over.

'He looked at me. He looked at ME before he left. I must have done something wrong for him to do that. I guess he must have remembered something that I had done to him. Did I hurt him in some way in my past? Why would I do something like that to such a nice man,' Koushiro thought as the smile on his face vanished and his eyes returned to their normal dismal confused appearance. 'Why can't I remember?'

Koushiro felt a hand upon his shoulder and saw that the blond-haired man had come from behind him. "Hey, Koushiro. I know what you are thinking and he didn't leave because of you. He's just not used to showing a lot of emotion with anyone. When he does, he feels like he has done something terrible and selfish. Ever since you left, he's been bottling everything up inside of himself. It was bound to be released someday." Koushiro looked as if he was trying to compute all of that information.

"It's still my fault though. I had to have done something wrong for him to look at me. I didn't see sadness in his eyes before he left. Instead, I saw pure fear and panic. That became obvious to me when all of the crashed was heard from the hallway."

'He died, yet he's still as sharp as ever.' "Well, that's right Koushiro." He saw the red-head's eyes fall. "It's not your fault though, Koushiro." Yamato bent down to place one hand under Koushiro's chin and lifted his face up. "Koushiro, you are a wonderful person and you never did anything to cause this."

Koushiro's eyes widened as he saw someone else's face replace the blond man's for that last sentence. It had long auburn hair and a pale face with rose-colored lips and her hair flowed as if she were swimming in the sea. Koushiro backed away towards the wall. As he stared at what was once the blond-haired man, he realized that the woman was like a hologram over his body. 'I know that face and that flowing silk ensemble! Where have I seen it before?' Then, the woman smiled at him and as soon as it appeared, the apparition disappeared.

"Koushiro? What's wrong? What did I do?" Yamato walked over to Koushiro, hoping that he hadn't hurt him in any way. 

"You….you didn't see what just happened to you? I mean, there was this beautiful woman overlaying your body and as you told me that I was a wonderful person, she was the one saying it instead of yourself. Didn't you see that?" Koushiro was practically begging for Yamato to say that he did.

"No, I didn't see anything. You're probably seeing things, Koushiro." Yamato covered his mouth as he finished his last sentence. 'Moron! Why'd I do that?'

"Are you saying that I'm psychotic? Hmm? That's so kind of you." Koushiro turned his eyes towards Yamato and the blond could see the infuriation within him. He slowly advanced on Yamato as he backed away. That's when he ran into the wall.

Yamato's eyes darted around the room, looking for a way out. He looked back upon Koushiro, who seemed like a completely different person now. One filled with rage instead of peace. 'Is this what Jyou was trying to tell me earlier?' Yamato's thoughts were cut off as he felt two hands on his shoulders. "Koushiro…" he managed to squeak out before a hand around his throat cut him off.

"I. Am. Not. Psychotic. You understand, blondie?" Yamato could have sworn that he saw a crimson light flash in Koushiro's eyes as he tightened his grip around his throat. Yamato tried to cry out, but no sound would come out. 'Koushiro! What are you doing? You don't want to do this,' Yamato pleaded mentally as his vision began to become blurry and distorted. 'Koushiro…please..'

Koushiro watched as Yamato's eyes began to close. 'Yeah, this'll teach everyone to not call me psychotic. He'll pay for that.' Just as Yamato lost consciousness, he saw that his face had changed from it's normal state into the woman's once again. Koushiro's eyes widened as the rational half of himself regained control and he released the body from his grasp. He watched as her flowing gown descended to the floor and remained still. It was like a flower whose petals had been plucked from their proper place and then discarded onto the floor like worthless pieces of trash. The hologram disappeared, which showed the form of Yamato on the floor. 'No…what have I done? I'm a monster!' Koushiro looked at his hands and watched as they began to tremble in fear. 'I have to get out of here..' Koushiro looked at Yamato once again and then ran from the room. 'Murderer. Aloof. Cold-hearted. Deserter. Traitor. Victim. Menace.' Those words ran through Koushiro's head as he ran from the hallway and into the lobby. 'No! This can't be happening all over again!' Koushiro frantically dashed out the door, but not before Jyou saw him leave.

"Koushiro! No! You can't leave! Come back!" Jyou ran out the doors and didn't even notice all of the stares that he was receiving for his outburst. 'I just hope I can catch up to him,' Jyou thought as he kept an eye on Koushiro's head. 'I can't lose him again. He'll really be killed this time if I don't catch him.' Jyou picked up the pace even more and realized he was gaining ground on Koushiro. 'Yes! Now, a little faster!' That's when Koushiro dodged into an alleyway and suddenly stopped Jyou stopped some feet away and wondered what had caused Koushiro to stop so suddenly. He did hear him mutter the word "Kaida" before he slowly began to move again, except quite slowly this time.

"Koushiro?" The red-head looked at Jyou and widened them in fear as he slowly stood up and backed away.

"No! Stay back!" Koushiro pointed at Jyou, who was slowly advancing on him. "Leave me and Kaida alone!" Jyou slowly looked at the dog, which seemed to be saying 'take him with you' with his eyes. "I'm warning you…" Koushiro's tone became lower and more threatening that time and his eyes began to narrow as his survival instinct took over. He looked around him and began to dash down the alley.

"No! Koushiro! I don't want to hurt you! Please, come back!" Jyou collapsed onto his knees because he couldn't run anymore. 'Damn it! I've failed him again!' Jyou smashed his hands into the pavement, causing them to bleed. He lowered his head into them, which caused his face to be covered his own gore. 

What Jyou did not see was when Kaida chased after Koushiro and leaped several feet in the air to land in front of him. The dog barred its teeth at Koushiro and let out a menacing growl.

"Kaida? What are you doing? Let me…" Before Koushiro could finish, Kaida had grabbed part of Koushiro's hospital robe and was dragging him towards Jyou. "No, Kaida! I can't go back there! You don't know what a monster I am now. I've…I…" Koushiro trailed off as the form of Jyou became clear. 'Oh gods. I'm deserting and betraying him.…..but, he won't care when he knows what I've done to…to…whatever his name was. He'll want me dead.' Koushiro lowered his head as they approached Jyou.

"No…I've done it again. I've let him leave again. How can I live with myself…" Jyou felt a cold nose try to lift his head from his hands. He lifted his eyes to discover that the dog he had seen earlier had Koushiro with him. The dog's head beckoned for Jyou to take Koushiro back with him.

"You can take me back and arrest me now. I don't care anymore. Why you even chased after me, I will never know. You'll hate me later." Koushiro's eyes turned to look at Jyou's, who didn't show the slightest sign of anger at all. "Why aren't angry with me? I just KILLED one of your friends! Did you not know that? Then, I remember everything I've done in the past. EVERYTHING! Everything from when I caused my parents' deaths up to Yamato! Can't you understand that?" Jyou smirked at Koushiro and shook his head. "Are you crazy?" Koushiro walked up to Jyou and shook him. "Well?"

"Koushiro, you didn't kill anyone."

"Yes I did! You haven't seen the evidence yet." Koushiro looked away in shame.

"You hold lots of anger, but you don't have the ability to kill anyone. I know you, Koushiro…."

"No you don't! No one knows me! I'm two different people now. One is peaceful and rational and the other….the other is just plain demonic! I can't control when each one could strike! I can't stop it! If you don't stay away, I might kill you too!" Koushiro sat upon the ground and bowed his head.

"Koushiro. Running won't help your problems be solved." Jyou pleaded as he reached a hand down to the broken Koushiro. "You have always been in control of your emotions and that's what I admire in you." Jyou looked at Koushiro with tears sparkling in his eyes. "I've always admired how you could always stay in control when I panicked. How you stayed steady when I cried. How you released anger when I bottled it inside. You always knew what to do and it pains me to see you this way. I want to help you Koushiro. I want to help you become the person that you were before. Come with me and you will see that you are not as evil as you feel yourself to be. I….I…" Jyou tried to say what he truly wanted to say, but he couldn't.

Koushiro looked up from where he sat and gazed into Jyou's eyes. 'He really does care.' Jyou's face then turned into the angel's once again and instead of backing away in fear, Koushiro embraced the warm feeling it emitted and took the hand she extended towards him. Once he took the hand, the face of Jyou returned and helped Koushiro from the ground. He felt Jyou's arm go around his waist and help support him. "Umm..you don't have to do that. I can walk."

"Well, if you want to look strange, then I'll let go. I don't want people to make fun of you since you are only wearing a hospital gown. If I'm helping you, they'll think that you are just getting your daily walk for recovery from an injury. You did have a broken leg, remember?" Koushiro shook his head. "Oh well. You did have one. It'll be worse on you." Jyou's eyes sparkled as he looked at Koushiro as he nodded his head in a gesture that said 'thank you'. 'Like I said before,' Jyou thought, 'I'll do anything to protect you from whatever I can.'

As the duo walked away, Kaida looked on down the alley and began to walk away. A hologram of the giant wolf-like angel appeared over Kaida as he leapt into the next alley.

***

"Damn that Kido fellow! I almost had Koushiro in my grasp then he came along and ruined everything. I could have destroyed him once and for all."

"Well, doesn't that go to show you that I can win even though you are stronger than I? Some opponent you are." The wolf-like creature stated as it emerged from the shadows.

"I wouldn't provoke me, Nanako. First, you take away my ability to use Koushiro's father's form, then you destroy my emotion sequence and then, you have the GALL TO USE THIS KIDO GUY AND DESTROY MY PLEASURE! I don't even know why I don't destroy you now."

"Because of the balance, you imbecile. If you destroy me, that mean you will be destroyed as well in order to keep the natural balance of life. Did you not remember that?"

"All I remember is that I can destroy you through Koushiro and NOT disturb that pattern, oh wise one," the demon stated sarcastically as he waved off Nanako.

"You are forgetting that I can do the same to you through this child, only I won't destroy him in the process!"

"That's what you think," the demon muttered under his breath as he disappeared into the darkness.

***

"Yamato…"

'What's going on? Oi….my head hurts.' Yamato thought as he opened his eyes to a fuzzy room.

"Oh sleeping beauty…Are you going to awaken sometime today?"

"Go 'way," Yamato mumbled as he turned his head away from the sound. "I'm not gonna go nowhere. Whadja want? If ya want me to move, then forget getting anythin' outta me." Yamato spoke with a clear slur in his speech and with broken grammar. He felt someone lift his top half from some type of solid surface and hold him.

"Someone wants to say something to you."

"Jyou? That you?" Yamato squinted his eyes towards the person who was holding him up. "Who wants what?" That's when he saw a red blur come up to him and sit on the floor.

"Umm…Yamato? That is your name, correct? Umm…I'm eternally sorry for what I did. I was out of control and…and I just couldn't stop myself. I promise that will never happen again, and if it does…" Jyou covered Koushiro's mouth before he finished that sentence.

"If it does what?"

"Umm…he means that it anything like this happens again, he will do everything he can to make it up to you," Jyou said, nervously, as he received a glare from Koushiro. Yamato gave Jyou a suspicious look and then turned his attention to the sulking Koushiro.

"Koushiro?" Yamato attempted to sit up on his own, but didn't do very well. "Look, I forgive you for what you did to me. I mean, at least you didn't kill me. Damn it! I did it again!" Yamato wanted to slap himself in the forehead for that. 'Mimi's usually the one doing this type of thing, not me.'

'Smooth move, Mr. Yamato,' Jyou thought as he gave a death glare to Yamato and then turned to Koushiro. "Look, if you want to cry, then go ahead. We're right here for you." Instead of getting his expected result, Jyou saw that Koushiro burst out in a fit of laughter. Jyou and Yamato looked at each other and then turned back to Koushiro with confused looks.

"You two are just too much. I haven't made myself out to be that delicate, have I? I thought that was actually pretty funny." Koushiro the began to laugh again.

'Either his sense of humor has been twisted or he's just completely flipped,' Yamato thought as he rolled his eyes. He then looked at Jyou for support, only to find out that he was now laughing as well. "What is so funny?"

"Your look is priceless, Yamato! I wish I had my camera, or at least my notebook so I can record this moment down in history," Jyou managed to blurt out as he looked at Yamato. Yamato then looked at the two laughing maniacs in front of him and sweatdropped several times.

"IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY!" Yamato's face turned into one of frustration as his looked down to Jyou and Koushiro, only to have them stop laughing for a second and then begin chortling even louder. One of could have sworn that smoke was coming from Yamato's head at that point and that his face could have been a tomato. Yamato the sighed in defeat and laid his head back on the pillow while running a hand through his hair. 'I just hope that Koushiro can stay this joyful.'

***

While there was happiness coming from the inside of the hospital, a cloaked figure waited outside in one alley and watched. 'That Kido boy must be removed, otherwise this job is going to become harder than it should be,' it thought as its cloak floated through the wind like ebony snakes. 'He'll be easy to dispose of. Then, Nanako and Koushiro will be mine to control and then destroy. Then, I many finally live in my world in peace.' The figure walked away and then disappeared into the shadows.

***

SC: Ahhhhh!! Writer's Block struck halfway through this chapter! Ugh…my brain is tired now.

Yamato: What is with you and trying to kill us off lately?

SC: *grins* It's fun writing about it. I bet a whole bunch of authors can agree with me, right?

Voices from other authors: YEAH!

Koushiro: Well, at least you aren't being described as a psychotic maniac! *fumes*

SC: Awww….I'm sorry Koushiro. I do this because I just love you so much! *grabs Koushiro and starts to squeeze him really hard*

Koushiro: Air….must have air…ack!

Jyou: *sniffles* You mean, you don't love me?

SC: *releases Koushiro, who tries to run away, but is caught by the shirt* Of course I love you! Come here!

Jyou: Umm…I don't think that…ack! *joins Koushiro in his struggling*

Yamato: *rolls his eyes* Anyway, please review this fic. More chapters are coming, so please, be patient.

SC: You sound like one of those annoying "you are on hold" machines that play the nice elevator music.

Yamato: I DO NOT!

SC: Whatever. Anyway, this fic used to be entitled "Where Do I Belong", but that name didn't suit my purposes anymore, so I changed it.


	6. Horrors from Times Before...

Where Do I Belong

Deceptions of Truth Saga

By: Strata-chan

Again, this fic contains Shounen Ai (male/male romance), so please, don't flame me about it. Other than that, I don't have much else to say besides that this fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong". Boy, these things are getting old.

***

I spent a day down by the river, it was quiet and the wind stood still. __

I spent some time with nature to remind me of all that's real.

It's funny how silence speaks sometimes when you're all alone,

And remember that you feel…

Again, I stand against the Faceless Man.

Now, I saw a face on the water, it looked humble and willing to fight.

I saw the will of a warrior, his yoke is easy and His burden is light.

He looked me right in the eyes.

Direct and concise to remind me to always do what's right.

Again, I stand against the Faceless Man.

'Cause if the face inside can't see the light I know, I'll have to walk alone.

And if I walk alone to the other side I know, I might not make it home…

Lyrics from "Faceless Man: by Creed

***

"Koushiro? Umm…Koushiro," Jyou asked as he looked at the boy, who was still laughing on the floor. "It wasn't that funny, Koushiro. I've stopped laughing, see?" Jyou pointed to his face as he looked at the redhead, who slowly stopped giggling. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I guess I'm okay. I can't remember the last time I've laughed that hard." Koushiro gave Yamato and Jyou a small smile and then looked away. On the outside, Koushiro looked joyful and without worry, but on the inside, he was crying out for someone to hear him. 'If only they knew how I really feel. I'm so ashamed of what I've done. Laughing is just a cover for my true feelings. I don't deserve to look in the eyes of these wonderful people. I'll just jinx them. I don't want them to know what I truly feel. This…emptiness, shame, depression and….guilt. I don't want anyone to know…'

"Koushiro? Earth to Koushiro," Yamato stated as he looked at the blank look in Koushiro's eyes. "Houston, we have a problem." Yamato looked at Jyou while making some crackling sounds in order to imitate a NASA radio signal. He was hoping to get at least a chuckle out of Jyou, but he didn't seem to get through since Jyou only stood up and began to get lost in his thoughts. Yamato then looked back at Koushiro and decided to take some action.

"Hello? Anyone home?" Yamato waved a hand in front of Koushiro's eyes, which caused him to snap out of his trance.

"Wha…? Oh, hi….ummm…what was your name again?"

Yamato heard a sigh come from Jyou. "Koushiro, my name is Yamato." He then pointed to the figure against the wall. "His is Jyou."

Koushiro sighed and looked Yamato in the eyes. "I'm sorry. I just….I really don't know why this is happening. It's like I can know something one second and then it's gone the next. I guess I just have too much on my mind." Koushiro stood up and walked over to the bed, where he sat down and slumped over. 'Why am I forgetting things so quickly? WHY,' he screamed out mentally as he ran his hands through his hair.

Jyou left the wall, walked over to Koushiro and grabbed his hands and squeezed. "Look, it's not your fault. I'm sure that everything will be fine. I'm here for you, remember? I…I…" Jyou trailed off. "I…just CAN'T let you be alone anymore. You'll never be alone again, and I'll do everything I can to help your memory come back." Jyou backed away a little bit and watched as Koushiro's head lifted up. 

'I wish I could truly believe you, but what can you do?' Koushiro thought as he looked upon Jyou's face. He looked at Jyou's hands and grabbed one of them. "Oh my Gods! What happened to your hands? They look like they were put a shredding machine." Koushiro ran his fingers over the several cuts that laced over Jyou's hands and then looked at the stains on his hospital gown. "It's because of me that you got these, isn't it?"

Jyou pulled his hands away and hid them behind his back. "It's nothing! Really! I mean," Jyou cleared his throat and stood up. "When I left earlier, I accidentally knocked over some medical equipment. Some of it was sharp enough to cut my hands," Jyou lied. 'I hope he buys that.'

'I guess I shouldn't delve deeper into this situation.' "Okay. If you say so.." Koushiro stopped as he saw some sudden movement from behind Jyou. His eyes widened in disbelief as he quickly got up and stumbled over to the door. He saw several figures chasing after something down the corridor. 'I wonder….' Koushiro left the room.

"Koushiro! Come back! You're not supposed to leave the room!" Jyou shouted as he rushed after him. 'Actually, he wasn't even supposed to leave the bed, you moron.' Jyou scolded himself as he raced after Koushiro, who was now clear down the hallway. Koushiro suddenly stopped in his tracks and he kneeled down to greet something. Jyou stopped his fast approach and slowly walked over to the spot where Koushiro sat.

"Awww…hey Kaida. How did you get in here," Koushiro softly spoke as he hugged the matted dog.

"Look! It's over here and it's attacking one of the patients," someone yelled as he signaled for the other person who had a loop of wire within her hands. Jyou looked at the duo on the floor in front of him.

'I can't let those morons break this up. I've got to think of something quickly.' Jyou urgently thought as he stepped between Koushiro and their offenders. That's when he felt the loop that he saw earlier wrap around him.

"You idiot! Don't you know what the word, "aim", means? Oh, hello Dr. Jyou. Umm….sorry about this," the male of the two spoke as he slowly lifted the wire loop from Jyou's shoulders. "My companion here is just incompetent."

Jyou looked up and into the eyes of the man. "It's not her that is incompetent. It's you!" Jyou placed a finger on the man's chest. "Can't you see that you are interrupting a therapy session? If you had any medical background, you would realize that animals have relaxing effects. Do you even watch the news?" Jyou slowly pushed against the man's chest and he backed away.

"That dog is a stray though. He just walked into the hospital. He could be dangerous…."

"Does it look like it is hurting this patient," Jyou inquired as he gestured to Kaida and Koushiro.

"Ummm….no?"

"Precisely my point. Now, go interrupt someone else." 

"But, it could give the patient some type of new disease…"

"Away! Go!" Jyou waved off the two people as he turned back to Koushiro and sighed with relief as he sat himself down next to him. "That was close."

Koushiro looked away from Kaida for a second and bowed his head towards Jyou. "Thank you for doing that. You could have just let them take Kaida away from me, but you didn't. I hold great respect for you."

Jyou's eyes lightened up as he saw Koushiro return his attention to Kaida. 'He holds respect for me. He really showed some type of gesture towards me! Oh, this is wonderful!' His eyes began to water with joy as he closed them. 'Maybe he will be normal again! Oh, I hope so. Oh Gods, please let him be the person he was,' Jyou silently prayed.

***

Yamato sat down on the bed and looked at the floor. "I wonder what was so interesting for Koushiro to just leave like that. Then, why is Jyou following Koushiro like his life depended on it? It just doesn't make sense, unless……no. That's not like Jyou. He wouldn't be that sort of person…would he?' Yamato scratched his head. 'Nah. I'm just being stupid.' Yamato stood up and took a look into the hallway. He saw Jyou shooing away some people and then saw him sit down next to Koushiro. He saw Koushiro bow his head and then saw Jyou look like he was about to burst with happiness. Yamato put his head back into the room and slumped down against the wall. 'He can't be gay….can he?'

***

A figure was watching this entire scene through a dimensional rift and smirked with glee as it saw this new revelation. "This is wonderful. Now, I can be rid of this Kido person even more easily than before. His hidden love will be his greatest weakness." The figure chuckled condescendingly and looked away from the rift. "Now, to figure out how to stop the prophecy of the Chosen Seraph. So far, everything has come true. The fallen soul, the attempted destruction of it and then the coming of an outside strength that cures the soul of all ails. That part is still in progress though. I must not allow this Kido child manifest into anything larger than what he is." The creature left the rift, placed a cloak upon itself and disappeared into the darkness.

***

Jyou tried with all his might to hide his joy, but he wasn't doing all that well. 'At least Koushiro isn't paying me any mind.' Jyou sighed as he slowly calmed down. 'Get a hold on yourself, Jyou. He hasn't even done anything drastic. It isn't like he's going to admit his undying feelings about you. You don't even know that he even cares about you at all, you baka,' Jyou mentally slapped himself back into reality. He noticed that several people were coming down the hallway with a patient that needed to be rushed into the intensive care unit. 'Crap!' Jyou thought as he looked at the room that was right in beside them. "Koushiro. I hate to break this up, but you wouldn't want to be squashed by a stretcher, now would you," Jyou implied as he looked behind himself.

"I'll move in a second." Koushiro was still preoccupied with Kaida, who was still playing with him.

"No, I mean now! Let's move!" Jyou grabbed Koushiro by the arms and pulled him to the wall, along with Kaida just as the stretcher rolled past. Jyou sighed as he looked at Koushiro. His anger boiled as he looked at the unconcerned look on Koushiro's face reached his senses. "Excuse me, but don't you know what you could have caused back there, Koushiro? That person could have been KILLED due to your inattentiveness! Those doctors don't have time to look in front of themselves for obstacles and this hospital is short on staff members! The stretcher would have tipped over and precious moments would have been lost! Don't you understand that?" Jyou saw Koushiro's face fall as he comprehended Jyou's outburst. 'What have I done?' Jyou mentally slapped himself and he looked at Koushiro.

"I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself." Koushiro looked away from Jyou and at the Intensive Care entrance. 'What if that had been me on that stretcher and it tipped over? How would I feel towards the person who caused that to happen?' 

"I'm the one that should be sorry." Jyou looked at the ground. "It's my fault for not looking sooner and thinking that something like this could happen. I mean, I'm the doctor here. I know these things, not you. I am truly sorry Koushiro. Will you forgive me?" Jyou bowed his head and placed his arms behind his back.

Koushiro was surprised at this reaction. 'He's asking for MY forgiveness? He feels that my forgiveness is worthy enough to ask for? Why,' he asked himself as he looked at Jyou. "I forgive you, Jyou, even though you didn't do anything…."

"But I did do something, Koushiro! I yelled at you for something that wasn't something that I should have been yelled about and I let you leave and I didn't try hard enough to find you and…" Koushiro stood up and covered Jyou's mouth before he could say anything else.

"Jyou, you didn't a thing. Don't blame yourself for anything that has happened. Everything that has occurred in the past is my fault, and not yours." Koushiro pulled away from Jyou's mouth and reached down to pet Kaida on the head.

Jyou stood in shock as he looked at Koushiro. 'He…he remembered MY name! He remembered my name! Now Jyou, quit being over-reactive. Once he gets his memory back, he'll probably leave and you'll never hear from him again.' Jyou's eyes fell to the floor as he crossed his arms. "I'm so sorry, Koushiro," he mumbled as he looked at Kaida.

Jyou then felt a hand slap him lightly across the face. Jyou snapped his head up to see Koushiro's hand up in the air. "It's not your fault, damn it! Everything is MY fault! Don't you understand that? Am I going to have to slap some sense into you every time I do something wrong?" Jyou put a hand up to his cheek and softly rubbed it.

"Koushiro…"

"No! I won't hear any of it! I don't want your pity or guilt on my hands. I don't need it. Pity doesn't get me anywhere. It just causes me more pain and suffering."

"But…"

"Listen to me!" Koushiro's hands were now balled into fists by his side. "Do you know what it is like to be beaten within inches of your life because either someone showed you any compassion or because you cared for a soul besides yourself? Well, do you?" Jyou's head shook slightly. "I thought not. It has happened to me and look at what I am now. I don't want that to happen to you because of your compassion towards me. Don't try to help me in the least. It will just come straight back at you in the future and ruin your life." Koushiro's scar on the side of face was hurting immensely once again and he raised a hand to it.

"You can't really mean that, can you? There are so many times in the past that…"

Koushiro removed his hand from his face and looked at Jyou. "I can't remember those times! What good are things that I can remember? All I can remember is hate, anger, depression and loneliness! Everything else is gone!" After that outburst, Koushiro bit his tongue in order to stop from crying out in agony because of his scar. He then felt a nudge at his leg and discovered that Kaida was pulling on his pants. An image flashed before Koushiro's eyes and it appeared that an insect-like creature was standing next to him now instead of Kaida. Koushiro stared at this sight and wondered what it meant.

"What about that dog, Koushiro? Surely, you can remember what he has done for you." Jyou noticed that Koushiro had now frozen in place while having his hand on Kaida's head. 'What is he doing?'

Images passed by Koushiro's eyes of Kaida and how they had first met. First, that fateful night where he had rescued the poor guy from the trash can. Then, how he hid them before the Hishinkas clobbered him. He remembered waking up to his soft nudges and licks. Then, he remembered Kaida laying next to him through all the cold nights and how he had looked when Koushiro had shooed him away. Then most importantly, how he had saved him from certain death after being stabbed by that man in the alleyway. 'How…what…Kaida CARES for me and nothing bad has happened to him because of it. He has loved me ever since I rescued him and he hasn't been hurt by anyone…but me. How could I have been so ignorant?'

Jyou watched in wonder as a tear rolled down Koushiro's cheek and landed on Kaida. Koushiro then bent down and hugged Kaida as tightly as he could. Jyou walked over and placed a hand on Koushiro's shoulder. "I'm glad that you remembered something, Koushiro. I knew you could do it." Jyou felt like crying himself while watching Koushiro and decided that he had to remain strong….for Koushiro's sake.

"Oh Jyou! I'm so sorry for what I've done!" Koushiro got up off of the ground and embraced the blue-haired doctor. Instead of pulling away, Jyou placed his arm around Koushiro's back and comforted him as he sobbed into his shoulder. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I killed them! Oh Gods, I killed all four of them!" Koushiro mumbled loudly into Jyou's now soaking wet shoulder.

Jyou pulled Koushiro away from his should and wiped a tear from his face. "Koushiro, you need to tell me what happened. I can help you." Koushiro then saw the auburn-haired woman replace Jyou's figure for a second before disappearing again. 'What is this woman trying to tell me? Is she guiding me?' He then looked towards Kaida, who was looking up at Koushiro with earnest eyes. 'I don't know what to do.' Koushiro looked back towards Jyou. "I don't know if I can, Jyou. It's been hidden so deep within me for so many years, that it's like keeping it a secret is part of my soul. I…I don't really know what I would do if I lost that part." Koushiro closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I know how you feel, Koushiro. Believe me, I do." Jyou sighed as he reached for Koushiro. He stopped himself halfway through though and grabbed his hand instead. "Release that part and see how it feels. For all you know, it could be like releasing a vice that has been crushing your souls for years." Jyou squeezed Koushiro's hand in reassurance. "Remember, I'll always be there for you."

'Here for you.' Those words repeated over and over in Koushiro's mind. He opened his eyes and looked at Jyou. 'I'll always be there for you.' He then felt his feelings from all of the years rise up like a rushing waterfall and felt lost in the stream of emotions. His eyes changed from a dull black color to a more glossy ebony hue and he truly did feel like a dam had been broken within his heart. He began to tell Jyou everything. From how he felt when his father died and when he abandoned his mother, to when he was reminded of how his other parents died and how he had been the cause of their accident. Jyou watched this display and wanted more than anything to just embrace Koushiro and make all of his ails forgotten, but he knew he could never do so much.

"….and that's how I got where I am today." Koushiro stood in place after he finished. He looked like he had just been through a massive battle. His hair looked all disheveled and his eyes were drooping like they hadn't been allowed to close in months. Koushiro then started to sway a bit and Jyou caught him before he swayed too far. Koushiro looked up at his savior and slowly closed his eyes. 'For once, I finally feel at peace with myself.'

Jyou watched as Koushiro's eyes closed while he was laying in his arms and felt as if he was at peace with himself as well. He could finally help Koushiro through his pain without sorting through blindly assumed facts. He looked down upon Koushiro's smiling face and smiled himself. He reached down and grabbed Koushiro's legs so he could carry him back to his room. 'He needs his rest after all,' Jyou chuckled to himself as he entered the room. He saw Yamato sitting against the wall looking troubled.

"What's wrong, Yamato?" Yamato was startled by Jyou's voice and looked up at him with frantic eyes. "Oh, Jyou," he sighed, "it's just…what happened to Koushiro? Is he okay?" Yamato stood up and was going to attempt to wake him when Jyou pulled away.

"He just needs his rest. Don't wake him," Jyou said quietly as he placed Koushiro back onto the hospital bed. Yamato watched as Jyou placed a hand on Koushiro's face and let his fingers run along a giant scar on the side of Koushiro's face.

"Have you even wondered what this scar is from, Yamato," Jyou said softly as he lifted his hand from his face. "Have you?"

"What scar, Jyou? I don't see anything at all." Yamato looked at Jyou in confusion as he looked all around Koushiro's face. Jyou looked back down at the giant scar and then back at Yamato.

"What are you talking about? It's right there." Jyou pointed to the giant white line that ran along Koushiro's face and then looked back at Yamato. "How could you not see it? Come and take a closer look," Jyou said as he gestured to the blond. Yamato walked closer to where Koushiro and he bent down over Koushiro.

"I still don't see anything, Jyou. Maybe you need some rest…" Yamato trailed off as he reached for Jyou's shoulder. Jyou pulled away and stood up.

"I am not seeing things! I know what I am seeing and there is a scar that runs all along the left side of his face! Are you blind or something?" Yamato took a hold of the panicked Jyou and shook him slightly in an attempt to get him back to his senses.

"Look. There is nothing there. You're just over-tired, Jyou. You need to rest. Now, let's get you to a nice, warm bed." Yamato slowly pushed on Jyou's back as he finished speaking. Jyou cooperated, but he looked back at Koushiro right before Yamato forced him out of the door.

'I know what I saw, Yamato. I'm the reliable one, or don't you remember that,' Jyou thought as his friend was pushing him down the hallway. 'I don't need rest. I need to be by Koushiro. Why can't you understand that?'

***

'Why can't you understand that?'  __

Koushiro opened his eyes to the echoing sound of Jyou's voice. He looked around and saw that he was in a dense forest of some kind. Koushiro lifted himself up from the ground and took a good look around. There were only a few beams of sunlight shining through the spaces between the trunks of trees and masses of branches. The soil crunched underneath his feet and he heard the chattering of birds above him. Koushiro closed his eyes and let the wind whisper into his ears.

"Fallen heart," is what was repeated over and over again in a murmured tone as the wind flowed through Koushiro's hair. "Fallen heart…fallen…"

He opened his eyes and decided to explore where he was. 'Hmm…I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore,' Koushiro joked with himself while trying to hide his nervousness. 'What is there to be afraid of? I mean, it isn't like there are any wild animals or anyth…' Koushiro stopped his thoughts as he nearly stumbled off of a steep ledge. 'What the…woah…' Koushiro felt like he was on top of the world. This ledge overlooked an entire valley that was filled with endless moors and forests of green. Then, the sunset started. Oranges and reds filled the branches of the groves and the sky became filled with purple and midnight blue hues. Koushiro sat down with his feet hanging over the cliff and let them dangle in the warm air. As the stars began to appear, he noticed that two of the constellations formed a dog and a man. He laid down upon the grass and watched those two constellations as they twinkled in the night sky.

'Those two look familiar for some reason,' Koushiro pondered as he set himself up on his elbows. He squinted at them in an attempt to get a closer look, but it was to no avail. Koushiro laid back down on the grass. 'It really is amazing that the sky can be so vast. It just makes me feel so small…' A loud clap of thunder in the distance interrupted Koushiro's thoughts. He sat himself up and looked in the direction of the sound. A menacing blackness appeared in the distance and it was moving extremely fast. It advanced towards the two constellations and Koushiro could have sworn that the two figures cowered in front of it before they were engulfed in it's blackness. Lightning struck every few seconds and all other light had been abolished due to the charcoal clouds. Wind roared and the rain poured down in torrents as Koushiro hid under a nearby tree.

'I'm being just stupid. A tree is the worst place…' Another lightning bolt struck a nearby tree, cutting Koushiro's thoughts short. He ducked underneath another tree that was nearby in hopes that the next bolt would miss him as well. That's when the smell of smoke reached his nose. Without a second thought about the danger behind what he was doing, he rose from his crouched position and moved over to the edge of the cliff. What he saw was terrible. The entire valley was in flames. The once green trees were burned into ebony ashes and the ones that were ablaze were the colors of the sunset itself. 'How could this happen? This can't be happening! How come everything that is beautiful has to be destroyed before my very eyes?'

"Why!?" Koushiro yelled out into the darkness and heard his cry echo back to him unanswered. Rain streamed down his face in streams as he closed his eyes, not wanting to see this unstoppable destruction take place. Another lightning bolt struck a nearby tree, but Koushiro was unprepared for the explosion that followed, therefore sending him off of the cliff. 'Oh my Gods! I'm going to die!' Koushiro screamed mentally as he was getting closer to the ground. That's when his back hit part of the ledge and he was knocked unconscious.

***

Koushiro awoke to the smell of burnt wood and flesh as he opened his eyes. He turned his head and covered his mouth in shock as the desolation laid before his eyes. The once blue sky had turned an awful brownish color and was filled with toxic fumes that were doomed to land on the soil sooner or later. Koushiro stood up and widened his eyes as he saw the bleakness of what was once a giant grove of forest. Ashes littered the area and there wasn't a piece of green left on the land. Koushiro walked through the ravaged terrain and his heart felt like it was being torn in two when he knelt down and picked up some of the soil and let It run through his hands. __

'The soil is ruined. The nutrients have been destroyed.' Koushiro gulped as he got back up. 'Nothing will ever grow here again.' Koushiro sighed and began to yell at the top of his lungs. "I can't bear this! Why wasn't I allowed to die like this forest? Is this some type of lesson for me to learn? Well, I'm sick and tired of learning things at the expense of others!" Koushiro walked on towards the elevated part of the area while becoming even more enraged. His foot then stepped on something hard. Koushiro lifted his foot and bent down to see the blackened skeleton of what was once a proud stag.

'No…why'd this have to happen,' Koushiro asked as he tried to lift the bones from the ground The only thing he received was the skull. 'Oh Gods…you were so young. Why'd you have to die? It's so unfair of Nature to take such a young life,' Koushiro thought as he held the skull in the palm of his hand. He stared at it for a few moments and then placed it back onto the ground.

"I wish I could finish your cremation, but I don't have the means. I feel so guilty. I don't want to just desert you like this," Koushiro said as he gazed upon the half-buried remains. Koushiro turned away from the sight and walked in the other direction while tears ran from his eyes. 'It's so unfair…'

"Through the ashes will emerge,

A seraph through which all converge.

Fallen from the light,

Pained from the last fight,

And lost in this blight.

Nearly lost and death upon him,

One soul brightens his hopes so dim.

Letting the light through,

Letting the past too,

Almost stopped by the new.

His job finished, all lives freed,

Return to the stars shall be his creed.

Never to be seen,

Or remembered by memory keen,

Missed only by one,

Tormented by none,

The seraph's life over and done."

Koushiro turned around at that whispered prophecy. "Who….who's there? What do you mean? What's happening? What does the destruction of this place have to do with that poem?" Koushiro's eyes flipped around the area, frantically looking for the soul who stated that prophecy. Then, some movement caught his eye. Koushiro flipped around to discover the auburn-haired angel behind him.

"Okay. I've seen you practically everywhere and before you say a thing, I just want to know what your name is."

"Names are not important."

"They are to me! Please, just let me know."

"As you wish, my child. I am called Nanako. In the ancient language of the Universe, it means "one of many forms"."

"The…Ancient Language? I never knew about that language. Does it truly exist?"

"Only with those who believe it does. Now, may we continue. Time is of the essence."

"Do what you want, but first, why was this forest destroyed?" Koushiro once again picked up some soil and let it run through his hand. "Why were so many lives destroyed? Why didn't I die along with them?"

"Your own negative feelings caused this havoc to be raised. They overrun you like that storm overran this place. Sooner or later, you heart will become barren and desolate……like this place. That is if you do not allow them to."

"But…"

"You did not die because you did not wish to die. If you had wished that to be so, then your body would have died back in the mortal dimension and here. Both wished to live, so you are here. It was the same way when you were in the Digital World."

"Alright, I understand that, but why that prophecy? What does it mean?"

"That's another thing you will have to figure out for yourself. That's the only thing you will remember from this dream."

Koushiro raised an eyebrow at Nanako. "Do you people ever think about the fact that all this 'You will forget so and so after this dream' is what is screwing up my mind? I mean, how many times has this been done to me?" Koushiro stood up in protest as Nanako began to fade into the distance. "Oh well. I guess that's just how life is."

"Yes, it is cruel, isn't it. Poor poor thing. Are you lost?" Koushiro turned and faced the taunting voice. As he did, a hand wrapped around his neck and squeezed hard. "I can finally be at peace when I'm rid of you! Why can't you just die?" The grip around his neck became even tighter, cutting off Koushiro's air supply. He clawed at the hand with all of his might, but he could not pry it away. "I can't kill you here, but watch yourself, Chosen, I'll find some way to destroy you." Koushiro was thrown against the wall of the cliff and watched as his tormentor walked away.

***

"No!" Koushiro bolted up in his bed in a cold sweat. He ran his hands through his hair and felt some drops of salty water run down his face. 'Why do this dreams always end so abruptly? Is there something that I'm not allowed to see in them? What was in this vision? All I remember is a stupid poem that doesn't make any sense anyway.' Koushiro then noticed that Jyou had fallen asleep right by his bed along with Kaida.

"Glad to see you are awake." Koushiro turned to face Yamato and the to the TV, which he finally realized was on. "You know, he's been waiting here for hours for you to wake up. He refused to sleep anywhere else. In fact, I had to sneak sedatives into his water to get him to go to sleep. You do appreciate that, don't you?"

Koushiro lifted his eyebrow. "Should I be impressed or something? I don't even know this guy all that well and right now, I have more important things to think about…" Koushiro stopped when he felt a hand take him by the shirt and a hand hit his face.

"I thought you had changed for a while there, Koushiro. Now, you're just going back to what you were before you left, a selfish computer prick." Koushiro flinched at the way Yamato spit out the last few words. "Why can't you see that? You've broken his heart so many times before, Koushiro. Why are you doing it again?" Yamato's tone slowly changed from a harsh one to a pleading one. 

Koushiro's eyes widened as Yamato let go of him and he looked down at his quilt. Flashes of events that had occurred before he left for the first time began to appear before his eyes. All of the visions were disturbing but, one vision in particular got to Koushiro.

__

"Jyou, I can't go with you today. I have things I have to do on the computer today."

"But Koushiro, you said that you would go to lunch with me today. We were going to discuss this big project that you are working on. You said that…"

Koushiro whipped around in his revolving chair to face Jyou. "Maybe I don't WANT your help anymore. I really don't need your services with this. I figured out some way to do it by myself." Koushiro turned back around and began to type on the computer again, not noticing Jyou's hurt look.

"But, Koushiro…"

"I said that I don't need your help! Leave me alone!" Koushiro turned around and threw a nearby apple core at Jyou, which nearly hit his head. "Get out! I'm busy!" Jyou reeled back towards the wall and stumbled out the door while looking back at Koushiro.

Then, came another vision…

__

"Hikari, I know that it means a lot to you if I go to Taichi's soccer game, but I have some things I have to do for my website. It's been having some technical problems and…"

"Why do I even ask you to do anything, Koushiro? You're just a selfish geek and you know it! You just…" Hikari was stopped suddenly by a slap across the face.

"You don't understand! I HAVE to get this done today! Why can't you just leave me alone?" Koushiro turned around and connected to the Internet while Hikari was holding her cheek. "Damned Internet connections. Always so damned slow." That's when Taichi walked in the room.

"Hikari, Koushiro! Time to….what happened Hikari? What's wrong with your cheek?" Taichi rushed over to his younger sister and took her hand away from her cheek and saw a giant red blotch on her skin. "How'd this happen?"

Koushiro spoke while tying in some commands. "I did it because she wouldn't leave me alone, like you. Do you have any clue how demanding these companies are? I don't have the time to see your stupid soccer matches! So, quit asking me!"

Taichi slowly left the room with his sister. When she had left Taichi returned and hit Koushiro hard on the side of the head. As Koushiro sat on the ground rubbing his cheek, Taichi looked down upon him in scorn. "Who the hell do you think you are? Do you think you are a God because of your intelligence? Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but you aren't one. You're just a pissy bastard!" Taichi then left the room.

"Dumb prick. He has no right to hit me like that," Koushiro mumbled as he picked himself up from the ground. "At least I can work on this project in peace…"

'In peace…In peace…peace…' Koushiro blinked his eyes as that phrase repeated in his memory over and over again and he looked at Yamato with fear and regret. "Oh Gods! Yamato, how could I have been so cruel? Why didn't I realize….Oh Gods! Someone just tell me it isn't all true!" Koushiro turned to Yamato, who now had his eyes closed.

"For someone as smart as you are, Koushiro, it sure took a lot to make you realize how much of a "prick" that you really were. I'm sorry for slapping you earlier, but it would kill Jyou to see you the way you were again. After what happened with Taichi that one time, everyone began to hate your arrogance. Everyone but Jyou that is. He always tried to get through to you, but you always brushed him off as "an annoyance". Then, you suddenly disappeared. Jyou was crushed and no one really understood why since you had mistreated him so much. As I have said before, he bottled everything inside of himself and became a work-o-holic after that. In fact, I never saw him shed a single tear until he called me to the hospital to see you. I hope you really are ashamed of yourself. I hope you have realized what you have done…"

"Stop! Please…no more…" Koushiro turned his head away. "I've changed. I've been humbled beyond belief since then. Emotions come out of me in their raw forms and I can't control myself anymore. A small amount of hate becomes a loud rage. A little sadness becomes a suicidal depression! Do you know what that is like? Do you?"

"Yes, I do. Nothing that you are saying is anything that I don't know already. I've been hurt too. We all have hurt inside of us, but it's the way that we deal with it that counts. Some run from it, while others face it and defeat it. Koushiro, if you don't stand and fight, your heart going to become devoid of any type of feeling!"

'Devoid…' Koushiro then had a flashback to the burning valley, the death of the stag, the woman…Everything was going by so fast. 'No! Not again!' He clutched his head in pain and his body started to go into convulsions. Koushiro struggled to breathe, but his lungs didn't seem to want to work. 'I don't want to leave yet! I have so many things that I have to do!' Koushiro then started to glow the color of his crest of Knowledge, but the glow wasn't constant. It flickered on and off at an erratic pace, which caused Yamato to become even more frenzied.

"Oh my Gods, Jyou! Wake up!" Yamato frantically shook Jyou trying to wake him up. Jyou's eyes slowly fluttered open and he looked directly into the eyes of a panicked Yamato. He pointed to Koushiro since he was too scared to do anything else. He watched as Jyou's eyes widened and he started to do some medical procedures used to control seizures. 'This is all my fault. He started doing this because of everything I said. Why am I such a dumbass at times? Why?' Yamato backed away from the scene a little and put his head on his hands.

After a few minutes, he felt a hand land upon his shoulder. He looked into the eyes of an exhausted Jyou, who was smiling down at him. "Look, it's okay, Yamato. I just used some special training techniques on him, so he'll be fine be morning. You need to get some rest now, so why don't you go lay down somewhere and I'll watch Koushiro now. Okay?"

"But…"

"Don't argue with the one with the PHD Yamato. I know what's best and it is best for you to go to sleep." Jyou then forced Yamato into a chair and covered him up with a quilt. With some muttered protests, Yamato closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. Jyou then walked over and sat on Koushiro's bed while flipping through some of the channels on Koushiro's TV. 'They really need to get some new channels of this thing.' While Jyou was busy flipping through channels, he didn't notice the looming shadow that was hovering throughout the room, slowly engulfing him and Koushiro in darkness...


	7. Varnished Truth...

Where Do I Belong

Deceptions of Truth Saga

By: Strata-chan

Just to warn to people who are squeamish when it comes to Shounen-Ai relationships, there is one in this fic. Also, you can't forget the swearing and overall "mature" content. Also, I'm using Yamato as the partial comedy relief on purpose. I love his comical side and this is what I would think would happen if they were just trying to have a "normal" day. One last thing, can some people please review my work so far? I'd really appreciate that. ^_^ Enjoy! Oh! Another last thing, this fic used to be called "Where Do I Belong", but I changed the name to one that will suit this story better.

***

I'm on a train, but there's no one at the helm __

And there's a demon in my brain starts to overwhelm

And there it goes, my last chance for peace

I lay me down, but I get no release.

I try to keep awake, I try to swim beneath

But still I find this narcolepsy slides into another nightmare.

And there's a demon in my head that starts to play

A nightmare tape loop of what went wrong yesterday

And I can hold my breath until it's more than I can take

And I close my eyes and I dream that I'm awake…

Lyrics from "Narcolepsy" by Third Eye Blind

***

Jyou sighed as he flipped through some more channels and only discovered some fishing programs and a couple infomercials that really didn't catch his interest. 'No wonder people go crazy in here. There's nothing to do!' Jyou put down the remote, turned the screen off and looked around the room for a moment. The only sound that penetrated the eerie silence was the sound of everyone's breathing and the darkness of the room didn't help in the least. 'Maybe if I open the curtains a bit more, the moonlight will brighten things up a bit.' Jyou walked over to the window and drew the curtains open all the way. 'Ah. Much better. I just love the moonlight.'

Jyou sat down beside Koushiro's bed and carefully watched the slow rise and fall of his chest, which seemed to be okay considering that it hadn't been alright just an hour before. Jyou's eyes looked away and began staring at the floor in thought. 'People just don't have seizures like that. Most of the time, they have a build-up of fluid in the cranium, but all tests on Koushiro didn't show anything like that. He also doesn't have a history of physical problems in that area…oh hell. I'm confusing myself now. Might as well let it go…but what if it happens again? I don't know if the same techniques will work twice. It's just all so perplexing!' Jyou laid himself out on the floor and stared at the ceiling for a few moments. That's when something lurked across the ceiling briefly and then vanished

'What was that?' Jyou sat up slightly and continued to look at the ceiling. He saw something creep across it once again, but only this time it hovered around. Jyou watched as it grew bigger with every breath that he took, which caused Jyou to unconsciously hold his breath. The darkness grew larger still and Jyou let his breath go. 'What IS that thing? What does it want?'

The room was soon ebony in hue and the moon seemed like a little firefly that had been trapped amidst the darkness. 'I don't like this…' Jyou glanced around the room worriedly and tried to find his way to Koushiro's bed. His fingers fumbled around until he found something solid to grasp to. 'This darkness is so disorientating.' Jyou's hands fumbled around again for another object to grab on to when he felt his left hand be stopped. Jyou tried to pull away, but the thing wouldn't let go.

"Yamato, this isn't funny! Let go!" Jyou frantically yelled as he struggled to get free. "Yamato! I'm serious now! I don't want to have to hurt you…" Jyou was suddenly lifted from the ground causing him to whimper in fright.

"The child is mine and I won't let you ruin my chances at being at peace."

"What are you…AAAHHHH!" Before he could finish his question, Jyou had been thrown through the closed window and had rolled off the edge of the platform just outside. His hand caught the edge before he could fall too far, but he was loosing his grip. Jyou looked away from his hand and down to the cement, which was several stories below him. His vision made the drop seem even larger and Jyou looked back up at the sky very quickly so he wouldn't drop himself. 'I hate heights! Especially when I'm about to fall from them, but who wouldn't be? Come on, Jyou. Think! Maybe I could pull myself back up if my other hand was up there…' Jyou tried to get his right hand to reach the edge as well, but his attempts only made his left hand slip a little bit more. 'Great. Just peachy. Well, there's one thing left to do.'

"SOMEBODY HELP ME! YAMATO? ANYBODY?" Jyou screamed at the top of his lungs, but no one answered. "THERE'S A DOCTOR HANGING OUT OF THE WINDOW OUT HERE THAT NEEDS TO HAVE SOME ASSISTANCE!" Jyou's hopes rose as he heard a window open above him. "Thank the Gods! Could you help…" He was then cut off by the person's voice.

"Will you shut up? People are trying to sleep here!" The window then clicked shut and nothing else was heard.

"Well, that figures, doesn't it? I can see it now, 'Doctor Dies from Falling Out of Window'. It'll be all over the headlines. What an embarrassing way to die. I mean, who wants to have their insides spread out for the public's viewing pleasure?' Jyou thought sarcastically as another one of his fingers slipped from the balcony. When his last fingers gave way, Jyou began to scream very loudly. He was so busy being scared to death that he didn't notice that he had stopped falling and was being pulled over the balcony. Jyou realized that he hadn't hit the pavement yet and stopped screaming. He opened one eye to see Yamato, who was trying hard not to burst out into a huge fit of laughter.

Jyou sweatdropped and walked over to the giggling blond and placed his hand on his shoulders. Yamato had been expecting thanks, but he received something totally different. "What took you so long? Am I just supposed to defy gravity and wait for you to get your lazy ass out of that chair and help?" Jyou was shaking Yamato vigorously and he thought he heard chuckles coming from the blond. He stopped shaking Yamato only to find that his face was red with laughter. Jyou sighed and sat down on the balcony as he let Yamato get all of his "happiness" out. He looked up and began to chuckle a bit as well. "I guess I acted pretty stupid huh?"

Yamato pretended that he had a microphone in his hand and he made his voice quite a bit deeper. Sort of like those annoying narrator voices at the end of each episode. "This has concluded another episode of "Daily Life with Dr. Kido". Please tune in next week for more hilarious acts by this supposedly great doctor." Yamato then burst into another fit of laughter. Jyou rolled his eyes and looked back towards the darkened room and began to wonder how Yamato had even made his way through it. He also saw that bits of glass that had covered the entire platform from the broken window. Jyou turned back to Yamato, who was now turning a lovely shade of purple from his laughter. "Yamato, can you see through that……window?" Jyou looked at the window that he had been forced through, only to find that it had mysteriously pieced itself back together within the past few seconds. All the shards from it had disappeared as well. "How'd that happen? Yamato?" Jyou looked back at the hysterical teen and decided that he had enough. Jyou lightly knocked Yamato on the head and turned his face to the room. "How did that window heal itself, Yamato? Are you playing mind-games with me?" Yamato shook his head and Jyou sighed. "I know I'm not crazy! That window was BROKEN a few minutes ago! I was pushed right through it! Then, there's the fact that I can't see a thing in there…Koushiro!" Jyou then went back into the room and fumbled through the darkness again.

Yamato lifted a hand to his head and scratched a spot there. "I always knew that Jyou would crack someday because of his incessant worrying, but I didn't think it would get this bad." Yamato said as he watched Jyou fumble his way around a perfectly lit room.

***

"Koushiro? Are you okay? Answer me!" Jyou stumbled through the blackness frantically searching for Koushiro's bed. 'At least the light switch should be around here somewhere.' Jyou's fingers slowly slid against the wall, but were not having much success. 'Where is that thing?' Before he could be answered, the darkness lifted and Jyou could see once again. 'Okay…that was creepy…'

Yamato walked in from outside and saw that Jyou was no longer stumbling around the room. "You seriously need a vacation before you go completely insane. I mean, why else would you be stumbling around…"

"I don't need a vacation and I am not crazy! This room was pitch black a second ago and that window was BROKEN! I know you don't believe me, but I don't need your support on this one! What? You think I was just going for a joyride off of the balcony? You know I'm afraid of heights…"

"…and the dark and everything else." Yamato received a nasty glare from Jyou as he walked back over to the chair. He sat down, crossed his legs and placed his hands behind his head. "You really need to chill out a bit."

"Chill out? CHILL OUT? I don't know the meaning of those words right now! Would you CHILL OUT if you nearly fell several stories? Hmm?" Jyou's face was turning a bright red and he watched as Yamato was having a hard time staying serious. "It's not funny!"

"I'm sorry Jyou, but…I can't help it! You're just too funny when you're all freaked out."

"Ha ha ha. You're supposed to be supportive of the victim. If this is your support, I'd just LOVE to see your non-supportive side." Jyou scoffed as he turned away from the chuckling blond. 'Indeed. Some people just don't get it…' His thoughts were interrupted as he looked at Koushiro, who looked awfully pale in the moonlight. The scar upon his cheek stood out even more now and it looked like it was…glowing? No, pulsating was more appropriate. Jyou walked over to his bedside and took a closer glance at it while lifting his glasses up. 'Now, I wonder if Mr. I-can't see-the-obvious can't see this.' "Hey Yamato? Come here and take a look at this."

Yamato walked over to Jyou's side and bent down in the same fashion that he was. "Yes, doctor?"

"Oh, quit being a moron. Can you see that scar I told you about earlier now?" Jyou pointed to Koushiro's face and traced where the white line ran.

"No, doctor, I cannot see anything." Yamato giggled a bit as he turned to an angered Jyou. Jyou turned away and threw his hands up in the air.

"Why do I even bother with you, Yamato? I'm being serious and all you can do is joke around like an idiot! Have all those high decibel levels gotten to your brain? There is a huge pulsating line running down his face and you can't see it for some reason!"

"Maybe because there is nothing there to see." Jyou stopped walking away and turned around to Yamato.

"If I have to repeat myself one more time, then I think I might kill something." Jyou stated calmly as he gave a nasty glare to Yamato.

"Well, there's nothing there…" Yamato was cut short as Jyou suddenly pounced upon him. "Hey! I was only joking!" Yamato put his hands up in defense as he looked up at Jyou. "Really!"

"You better be, Ishida. I'm not crazy! I repeat, I am NOT crazy!"

"Roger that, Houston." Yamato stood up and saluted as Jyou ran his hand across his face.

"Why should I even try anymore…" Jyou slowed down his speech as the sound of heavy breathing reached his ears. 'What's that?' He turned around and saw Koushiro was struggling to breathe and was beginning to sweat heavily. The scar on his left side of his face was pulsating wildly now and he seemed to be emitting an eerie blackness as well. Jyou blinked his eyes and shook his head. When he looked back, at Koushiro looked completely normal. 'Maybe I am going crazy…'

"Is there something wrong?" Jyou jumped about ten feet when he saw a hand wave in front of his face.

"Don't do that! You scared the hell out of me!" Jyou put a hand on his chest and panted a bit. "It's not good for a person's health to be frightened like that." Jyou smiled a bit and looked at Yamato. "Maybe I do need a break."

"What do you think I've been trying to tell you?" Yamato turned around and used a different tone of voice in an attempt to imitate how Jyou had been acting earlier. "You're just hopeless."

Jyou raised one eyebrow at Yamato and crossed his arms. "You're so funny that I forgot to laugh."

Yamato smiled and sat down again in his little "cool" pose that he does. "Anyway, why don't you stay at my place tonight? It'll be my treat."

"Of course. Mr. I'm-broke can't afford anything else at the moment, right?" It was Jyou's turn to almost burst out laughing.

"Hey! Wait a sec…Umm…" Yamato sweatdropped. "Yeah. That's kind of it. Anyway, the main reason is that my house is closer to the hospital than yours. That way, if anything happens, you can get here faster."

Jyou chuckled as he looked at the sulking blond. "Thanks." Jyou then thought for a second. "How could you possibly loose all that money that you make from your music? I mean, where does it go?"

"Am I supposed to know the answer to that one? I think I'm still paying off debts, but I'm not sure…" Yamato scratched and slightly tilted his head as he thought about that comment. "I guess I've never really thought about that." Yamato shrugged.

"Oi, how are you even still alive? I'm surprised that you weren't picked off by some type of Digimon all those years ago." Jyou mumbled as he walked out with Yamato. 

"Hey! That's not funny. You should be saying that about Taichi, not me." Yamato gave Jyou his best puppy-face and sniffled a bit. "You've hurt my feelings."

"Oh no…that's not going to work with me! No…can't give in…must resist…oh all right. Taichi is as dense as you are."

"Thank yo…hey! That's not what I meant!" Yamato fumed a bit as he looked at the grinning Jyou. "Okay, I admit that I can be stupid at times, but you can too."

"I was just kidding Yamato. Don't take everything so literally."

"Look who's talking."

Jyou smiled a bit and then turned to look back in the room. "I just hope Koushiro will be okay."

"Koushiro will be fine! Relax! It isn't like he's going to be gone in the morning."

"I suppose you have a point there…" Jyou trailed off he shut the door behind him.

***

'It isn't like he's going to be gone in the morning.' __

Koushiro opened his eyes to be greeted with the familiar darkness that had plagued him for so many years. 'This is getting so old really fast.' His eyes flitted around in the darkness in an attempt to see something, but there was nothing but an endless void.

'I suppose you have a point there…' Koushiro could hear the voices slowly fading away.

"No! Come back! Don't leave me here!" Koushiro ran blindly through the darkness only to be disappointed by the click of a closed door. "No…I'm all alone again." Koushiro sat down and opened his eyes even wider in an attempt to gather some light. 'Is this what it feels like to be in a coma?'

"That's quite correct. Brilliant deduction, Einstein!" Koushiro turned in the direction of the sound only to be greeted by more darkness. That's when he heard several claps surrounding him. "Like the surround-sound system? It's great." Several laughs followed those words and they echoed throughout the nothingness as if they rebounded through a giant arena. "Welcome to the confines of your own mind. Pleasant, isn't it?" The voice said sarcastically as it seemed to approach Koushiro. "How do you like the darkness…" Koushiro flinched since the whisper had been placed directly in his ear. "Just an endless vacuum. Nothing can get in, nothing can get out. You're trapped here forever…"

"Quit with the subliminal programming methodologies! They're not working and frankly, they are quite annoying. Haven't you realized by now that you aren't affecting me anymore?"

"What makes you think that, o' almighty Chosen? Have those fools brainwashed you? Well, listen to this." Suddenly, several voices resounded throughout the area. There were a few that were familiar though. "Listen, and you shall see what your new comrades really think of you." Chuckling, the voice silenced itself.

Scene from a few days after Koushiro's initial disappearance:

Taichi: "I wonder why Jyou didn't make it? It's a great party and it IS Mimi's birthday after all. You'd think he'd be here since everyone knows what a big crush he has on her."

Yamato: "I'm not so sure about that one. I mean, he has been awfully busy these past few days. I'd say that he thought that we were celebrating the little twerp's disappearance."

Taichi: (interrupting Yamato) "We might as well! He never did anyone any good anyway. Him and his computer antics that no one understood. It was like he resented every one of us because our *clearing his throat and imitating Koushiro* 'intelligence levels were those of gnats.'" *laughing*

Yamato: *laughing along with Taichi* "Yeah, you're right. I remember that statement from a looooong time ago and you know what? I'm sorta glad that he's gone too. I mean, he acted like we were his personal slaves or something."

Mimi: "Hey guys! Whatcha doing?"

Yamato: "Nothing. We're just talking about Jyou and how we're glad that Koushiro's gone and everything."

Mimi: "That's nice. Hey, Hiroshi! Wait up!"

Taichi: "Well, that was brief."

Yamato: "Just like Mimi's attention span. No wonder Jyou didn't show up!" *loud guffawing is heard*

Taichi: "You have a point there!" *more laughing added*

End of Scene

Koushiro couldn't believe what he was hearing! 'One of those voices was…was…that blond guy in the hospital! He's the one that reminded me of all those terrible things…what a horrible person! How could he have lied to me?'

"Are you convinced yet, or must I show you more?"

'Where's that damned woman when you need her?' Koushiro thought venomously as he searched. 'It always seems that people are never around when you need them. She must have lied to me too.'

"Ah yes. Even the heavenly spirits can lie, even though it is said that they can't. Everything lies. It's a way of life. It's how I live!" A large gush of wind passed by Koushiro's ears and it seemed to be whispering 'times of lies' as it rushed past. "Everyone lives in a world of lies. They just lie to themselves in order to make them believe that they live in a world of truth. Have you seen what happens to those who speak the truth. Great philosophers, such as Socrates and Galileo spoke the truth and where did it get them in their lives? Persecution and death."

Koushiro looked up and chuckled. "I believe you are sorely mistaken. They are studied all the time in today's world as some of the greatest people that have ever…"

"They're dead! What does it matter to them? All they know is that people persecuted them as they lived! Even now, children consider the lessons about them a bore. No one cares about what they did back then! Yet, there are so many that are interested in the actions of Hitler and Mussolini and Stalin. Can't you see? Do people model their lives after Galileo and Socrates? No. Do you see cults that praise leaders such as the three mentioned? Yes. Those that lie prevail, Chosen, and that's what you have failed to realize."

Koushiro chuckled and then laughed out loud like he had been driven insane. "Boy, are you living a lie. Have you ever heard of Gandhi? Mao Zedong? Lenin? All of India still lives by Gandhi's principles. Mao Zedong rescued China from ultimate destruction by the British opium trade. His principles are still used there today. Lenin rescued the people of Russia from starving to death at the hands of the ignorant Czar Nicolas II and even though his basic beliefs have collapsed there, his memory still lives on. Tell me answers to those!" Koushiro smirked into the darkness and waited for a response.

"Gandhi was assassinated by his own people."

"And the other two?"

"Lenin's principles were corrupted by Stalin and those are the principles that people remember."

"And…" Koushiro was cut short by a hand knocking the wind out of him.

"Your games bore me, child. Can't you just open your eyes to the truth and see that people will always remember the lies over the truth? Do something good and you will be remembered for a short while. Do something evil…now, there's fame and fortune for you!" Something then lifted Koushiro from the ground, which caused him to curl up like a scared rat because of his abdomen. His face turned away as a putrid smell reached his nostrils. "You'll remember this putrid smell over the fragrance of a rose." Just then, a rose appeared in front of Koushiro and the two smells converged with one another. The foul smell was what reached his nose. He was dropped to the ground and Koushiro balled up in an attempt to make his diaphragm allow some air to his aching lungs. When they finally did, Koushiro could still feel the presence around him.

"You are sick, you know that?"

"Oh, Koushiro. You still don't see that the world is sick. I'm just a part of the world and I'm being what it wishes me to be."

"Cut the bullshit! This is all wrong! You're wrong about how life is. People are not all evil as you say they are!"

"Have you ever heard of the phrase, 'Guilty until proven innocent?' Have you ever seen a person who has been proven innocent? It's usually the other was around, isn't it? People stopped using the previous phrase because it proved so many people guilty. No one escaped because of the true evil nature of humanity. Not even a child is free of this evil. Innocent children? Ha! That's a laugh. The deeds of their corrupted parents rain down upon them and they carry those evils for the rest of their lives. You see them everyday."

"You lie. You lie!" Koushiro shook his head in disbelief as he backed up to no where in particular. "Those are all lies! If what you said was true, then the world would not be as beautiful as it is!"

The voice chuckled condescendingly. "Here's another phrase that you must remember." A portrait of the world appeared. "'The mind only sees what it wishes to see.'" The oceans slowly turned to brown and the sky turned black and clouded with fumes. It was as if the life was being depleted from the Earth at a painstakingly slow rate. 'This is happening right now, but people do not wish to see it. They are lying to themselves and sooner or later, there will be nothing left to lie about. It'll all be darkness and the immense suffering that had been hidden over the years will be released upon humanity, causing their ultimate demise." The picture disappeared and the room was filled with the insane laughter.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Me?" The voice tried to sound so innocent. "I'm not doing a thing, Koushiro. Right now, you're lying to yourself in order to believe that this is not humanity's fault. Not YOUR fault. The mind always looks for another to blame and you know what? It's leading you away from reality and into a world that people wish you to live in. Vindictive humanity. Only thinking of themselves. Great, isn't it?"

Koushiro was speechless. 'Maybe it's true…maybe it's ALL true! Every single word of it!' His mind raced at ten million miles per hour. Running through memories he didn't even know he had. All the times where people were destroying nature to make more houses and useless products. Sucking the land dry and moving on. Watching as people had a good time inside while so many suffered on the outside. Not thinking of the other, but only of what they wanted. "No!" Koushiro stood up defiantly. "I REFUSE to believe that! I don't care if I'm living a lie! I don't care!"

"Not that it really matters to you all that much anyway. You're stuck in here. What does it matter to you what happens on the outside. As long as you are safe, your mind doesn't care about anything else but that. Slowly, you'll forget the outside and learn to dwell your lonely existence here until you die. What does a tree matter to a person who can't enjoy it? What does the ocean do for a person who can't see its beauty? What does a creature do for a person who is in seclusion? Sooner or later, you will realize the answers to these questions. That's how the mind works. Quite primitive if you ask me, but I didn't create the human mind." The voice slowly faded and Koushiro was left alone to ponder the words that were said to him. Koushiro sat down in shock and closed his eyes.

'What if he's right? What if everyone has been living a giant lie of truth? What if I do start to not care about life because I can't enjoy it? What if I'm not who I think I am, but someone who was forced to become what someone else wanted me to be? What if life doesn't exist at all?' Koushiro stood up and walked in no particular direction. He just wanted to get away from that spot. Away from all those words that were slowly eating away at his beliefs that he had relied on for years. It was like the foundation was being ripped out from underneath him and there was nothing to stop him from falling deeper into the darkness.

***

"Yamato, I'm not so sure we should have left Koushiro all alone in that room. I mean, that darkness I saw earlier seemed to be coming from him and…"

"How many times must I tell you that there was no darkness in that room? You were fumbling around a perfectly lit room, Jyou, and nothing you say is going to convince me otherwise. It's just like that scar you kept telling me about on Koushiro's face. There was nothing there!" Yamato turned to face Jyou and wasn't keeping his eyes on the road.

"And I'm not going to change my tune either! I know what I saw, Yamato, and…look out!" Jyou grabbed the steering wheel of the car and quickly pulled the car over to the correct side of the road. "You complete idiot! You could have gotten us killed, but you didn't think about that did you? Oh no! The almighty Yamato has to do everything HIS way and not the right way! Doesn't it just figure…"

"Oh, put a sock in it. It's always 'this could happen' or 'that could happen' or 'the world is coming to an end within the next few minutes!'" Yamato turned his head towards Jyou again and scowled. "For all you know, you're just a mental case!"

Those words stung Jyou deeply and the two just sat there staring at each other until the blaring headlights of another car shone through the window. Yamato looked away from Jyou and quickly swerved the car away from the oncoming lights. The other driver honked and Yamato stuck his head out of the window to curse him out, but stuck it back in quickly as he saw another car coming. "You almost got us killed, Jyou!"

"Me? Are you the god that can't do any wrong all of a sudden? Hmm?" Jyou crossed his arms and scowled at Yamato. He looked out the window and saw something was following them. "Yamato?"

"WHAT!?" Yamato was gripping the wheel very tightly now and was trying hard to not look away from the road. "I'm sorry, Jyou, but you just get on my nerves at times!"

"Never mind about that. What's that…wait a sec…where'd it go?" Jyou stuck his head out the window and looked behind the car only to see the empty road. 'That's funny. I could have sworn that there was something following us.'

"Jyou, if you get your head chopped off and blood lands on my seat, I'm not going to be very happy." Yamato snapped as he slowed the car down. "We're here. You can come back in here now."

"Sorry. I just thought, I don't know. I just thought that something was following us."

Yamato sighed and opened Jyou's door before he went too deep into his thoughts. "Come on, Jyou. Don't go insane in my car. I paid good money to get this thing reupholstered, you know."

Jyou turned around and gave Yamato a nasty glare. "Oh, put a sock in it." He snapped as he made the best Yamato impression he could conjure up. "I'm not going to go insane in your precious car." Jyou walked over to one of the wheels and gave it a slight kick. The sound of rushing air filled the silence and Jyou was trying hard to burst out laughing. "I love your tires, Yamato!"

"Of course, you had to kick the sensitive spot on the tire! Now, I have to patch it up again!" Yamato fumed as he walked over to caress his car. "My poor baby!" Yamato slowly ran his fingers over the hood of the car. That's when another tired gave out and Yamato's eyes went wide in that type of 'shocked' expression while still lying on the hood. Jyou, who was bursting with laughter, watched in earnest to see what Yamato's beloved car would do to him next. He turned away and stopped laughing suddenly. The forest that had once been behind Yamato's home had become a barren desert. Suddenly, a giant dust cloud appeared and was heading straight for him. Jyou wanted to scream, but his voice was stuck within his throat.

"MY BELOVED CAR!" Jyou blinked his eyes and saw that the forest had somehow returned and that the ominous dust cloud had left. He turned and saw Yamato clinging to his car like there was going to be no tomorrow.

"Now, who's the insane person here?" Jyou's comment went unnoticed as Yamato clung even tighter to the hood. Jyou rolled his eyes as he slowly pried Yamato from his 'baby' and dragged him inside of the house. "We might have to get you some trauma therapy, young man." Yamato just stared at Jyou with a forlorn look.

"Oh, just shut up and go to sleep already before you drive me nuts. My beloved car! How can I go on living?" Yamato threw his head back on the couch and emitted a large groan. Jyou just rolled his eyes and grabbed the other couch with a blanket and quickly fell asleep.

***

Note: Please review this story so far and I'll be one very, VERY happy authoress. ^_^ Also, this fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but I changed the name to one that fits the plot better.


	8. Buried in Endless Darkness...

Deceptions of Truth Saga

Deceptions of Truth Saga

By: Strata-chan

Note: Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. There have been certain issues, such as school and outside activities that have come up in my schedule and they take precedence over my writing. Not that anyone has been reading this story. *sweatdrops* Please read and review this story. Tell me what needs improvement or give me praises or flames for all I care at this moment. *begs* I'm in desperate need of knowing that someone is reading my work!

By the way, the lyrics sung later in this fic are from Sting's "Tomorrow We'll See". They're the words with the asterisks around them. ^_~ Also, for those of you that don't know what Murphy's Law is, it is, "Whatever can happen, will happen."

***

__

A thousand years, a thousand more,

A thousand times a million doors to eternity.

I may have lived a thousand lives, a thousand times

An endless turning stairway climbs a tower of souls.

If it takes another thousand years, a thousand wars,

The towers rise to numberless floors in space.

I could shed another million tears, a million breaths,

A million names but only one truth to face…

A million roads, a million fears, a million suns,

Ten million years of uncertainty.

I could speak a million lies, a million songs, a million rights,

A million wrongs in this balance of time…

Lyrics from "A Thousand Years" by Sting

***

__

'I-I can't see! Where am I?' That was the man's first thought as he opened his eyes for the first time in an immense void of nothing but darkness. He blinked to try and rid himself of the dreadful blackness that plagued his vision, only to find the same scene whether or not his eyes were open or closed. The man placed his arms out in front of him in an effort to gain a mental picture of his surroundings, only to find it futile to do so. Sitting down on the ground, the man only had one choice.

"What is this? Hello? Anyone there? Hel…" Something was now behind him, breathing its foul breath down his neck which reeked of filth with each ragged pant. Shivers ran down the man's spine as he felt a strong grip be placed upon his shoulder. It was neither the grip of a friend nor foe, but more of an unexplainable force that slowly pulled him closer. Panic that had once arose before was now calmed by this hand, though the peace did not seem quite right.

"What does thou desire?" A strange voice whispered into the man's ear ever so seductively. A finger slowly ran down his cheek in a straight line leading from his left eye to the bottom of his face. The man flinched at the action and pulled away only to be lured back by a feeling stronger than his own reason.

"What does thou desire?" The voice whispered once more into the other ear with an even higher level of seducement present within the tone. "What does thou desire? Dost thou not know? Thee knows, yes, thee knows. Denial…denial." The tone slowly came closer and close to the man, until he could not bear it anymore. It was like the voice had reached into his head and withdrew his deepest thoughts.

"What are you? What do you want? Where am I?" The man stood and turned to just face more of the endless nothingness that surrounded him. The breathing ceased and all went silent for a few enduring moments before a bright light filled the area, blinding the man with its unhindered illumination.

"Denial! Thou shalt not deny thy will! Speak! Speak!" The light pulsated with the ferocity of an untamed beast, constantly changing from dim to bright, bright to dim. The man had raised his arms in defense from the rays that were trying to penetrate his closed lids, only to find that they were slowly falling from their positions. Not of his own free will, his eyes opened to stare blankly at the blinding void set before him. The man's mind screamed for him to shut his eyes once again, but ceased once it discovered that the light was not intended to harm anything.

"Speak thou's will and thee shall grant thy desire. Speak! Make thou's wish known to all." Laughter filled the world as a figure slowly appeared in the distance. A contrast against the bright light, the figure's cape flowed through a non-existent wind. It looked at dark as the midnight's glow as did the rest of the figure's attire. It was like tie has created a warp just to allow this thing to emerge from the light. The man watched with a blank look inside of his eyes, following a strange pull that told him to go forward. The two met at a point within the surrealistic scene and for some time, they just looked into each other's eyes. Black into piercing blue, blue into infinite black…

"What does thou desire? One must know…" A hand was placed upon the forehead of the man, who did not flinch in the least this time, but rather smiled at the action. "One sees much suffering. Good…good…" The voice trailed off and the hand was removed from its place. The man still held a blank look upon his face as he realized that the pleasurable sensation he had just felt had disappeared. A finger was raised from the figure cloaked in black and it was traced upon the side of the man's pale complexion on his face. He closed his eyes in silence as the captivating sensations returned, not knowing what the true intention of the figure was.

"Thou desires the Chosen." The voice was no longer whispered, but spoken in a deep monotone voice that would have sent fear directly into the hearts of any aware being. The finger pulled away from the man's face and was raised to deliver a striking blow to his face. His eyes snapped open, rid of their previous unemotional stare, and his hands were raised to his face. Blood slowly seeped though his fingers as his hands shook vigorously. He pulled them away to find that his hands had turned to a horrid crimson color. With a pleading look, the man looked up into the figure's face, only to be struck down again by another blow. When he rose, two gashes could be visibly seen in the formation of a cross upon the man's face, causing the ominous figure to laugh.

"What…what are you? What have you done?" The man crouched down on the ground in agony as he clutched his disfigured face.

"Thou desires the Chosen. Thou's desire 'tis be forbidden, therefore thou shalt be chastised by thee." The figure slowly approached the helpless man crouched before him and flipped him on his back.

"Thou's desire 'tis forbidden." The seductive tone had once again returned, but the soothing effect has ceased to be and was replaced by a tone of anger. The last word rang within the man's mind repeatedly, like an endless echo throughout a canyon.

"Thou's desire is FORBIDDEN!" The thundering noise rang throughout the void with ease and caused the entire world to tremble in its wake. The figure disappeared and was replaced by a cloud of ashes the clogged the air, making the man's breaths raspy and brief. Standing up against the storm, he stumbled through it while frantically clutching his wounded face. He tripped over unknown obstacles that suddenly rose in front of him and finally fell a few feet away from where he had began. Stretching out a shuddering hand, the man's lungs slowly filled with the ash until he finally suffocated to death…

***

Jyou gasped in horror and sprung up within his bed in a cold sweat. His eyes were wide open and were darting from space to space, assuming for some semblance of the dream to reappear to haunt him once more. Raising a trembling hand to his forehead, Jyou felt the droplets fall across his fingers and that his lungs were frantically gasping for more air.

"Just a dream, that's all. Just some chemical reactions in the nerves of the brain, Jyou. You know that. It wasn't real…" Jyou repeated those words to himself, thinking that knowing the logical explanation for this would make it leave his mind. Though, for some reason, the thoughts refused to disappear. The blindness….the light….the shroud of death…. "Man, I have got to stop worrying so much. You know it was a damned dream, Jyou! Dream! D*R*E*A*M!" Jyou ran his hands through his hair and in frustration, threw himself down upon the pillow again. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and reached for the clock that was beside the bed.

"4:45AM. Stupid mind. Always screwing everything up, including my sleep…" Jyou sighed, pulled himself out of bed and looked out the window at the moonlight forest around him. He saw a couple of creatures scurry from the underbrush and stare at him for a few moments before scrambling back to their concealed hiding places as to not be caught by a wandering predator. Jyou sighed once again and looked at the moon, which was quite bright that night since it was full.

'What if what I saw is real…what if this entire place becomes a wasteland…quit being a moron. Things can't just disappear like that. Besides, law protects this area…' Jyou thought as he pushed away his doubtful feelings about his logic. 'You gotta quit doing this to yourself. Sooner or later, you will go crazy if you don't. I mean, sudden dust storms? Things that control light and dark? It's just plain stupid,' Jyou thought to himself as he turned towards the darkened corner of the room where the bed sat. He turned away from there and gazed upon a picture that was taken right after everyone had left the Digital World when the last great evil had been defeated.

"This is a treasure. I wish I had a copy of this. By the way, why didn't I get a copy of this? Hey! I have my back turned! Those scoundrels…taking a picture while I have my back to the camera," Jyou said to himself as he looked at the photo. 'Well, at least Koushiro was trying to get my attention. Humph, I'm surprised that Yamato and Taichi weren't clobbering each other or something. I guess they kind of grew up. It certainly took them long enough. I just hope…'

'FORBIDDEN!' A booming voice filled Jyou's mind with sound, causing him to lose all semblance of reality and his thoughts. The fingers that were gripping the picture loosened and the frame dropped to the floor with an echoing shatter…

***

_Crash. _Yamato woke with a start as the mysterious sound filled his room. Listening for moment, he tried to discern where it had come from, only to yawn sleepily and lay back down. "I better get the terminator here again. The roaches are back…" he mumbled sleepily as he nodded back off to sleep.

***

_'I'm all alone in here. Just me and the darkness. Boy, what a way to end up,' Koushiro sulked as he sat and watched the image of the Earth rotate in front of him. 'Well, I must find something to do here otherwise I'll go insane. Hmmm…is it really possible for one's mental image to go insane while trapped in the mind? Seems impossible, yet maybe…I guess I'll be the first to test that theory. Not that anyone really cares, but hey! It's something positive to think about.' Koushiro gave a slight chuckle only to have it shot right back at him at a louder volume. Startled, he jumped from the spot he was in and looked around frantically for the source of the voice. After a few moments of dead silence, Koushiro relaxed and laid himself down upon the ground._

'All this crazy talk is making me nervous. Have to stop scaring myself. Great. Now, I'm ordering myself to do things.' Koushiro ruffled his right hand through his hair and slightly pulled at it. 'What am I going to do?' Koushiro gave his hair a tug again and looked at the rotating globe again. The darkness that had surrounded it while that…thing had been controlling it. In fact, it now seemed like nothing had ever taken place. Koushiro sat up and gazed at the blue sphere longingly, wondering how it worked. He slowly reached his left hand out towards it while still holding his hair within the grasp of his right. Instead of touching a solid object, Koushiro's hand passed right through, as if there was nothing there at all. He pulled his hand back suddenly and examined it closely.

'Hmm…the matter isn't solid and doesn't seem to have done anything to my hand. Therefore…' Koushiro's thoughts were interrupted as his hand began to glow a strange blue color. 'Wha…? What's this?' Koushiro removed his right hand from his hair and traced his finger along the glowing substance. 'I wonder what this could be? Some sort of radiation? Is it toxic? How does it make that sphere stay together?' Koushiro wiped his hand upon the ground and rose from it once again. His eyes gazed upon the liquid for a few moments before turning towards his objective, but while walking towards the sphere, Koushiro noticed that the substance was slowly flowing back towards it, flowing like a miniature river. Then, he watched as the liquid levitated from the ground and was slowly fed back into the globe.

'Fascinating,' Koushiro thought as the last of the liquid enter the globe and become a part of it once again. It suddenly flashed with a bright white light, which blinded Koushiro for a few moments. Covering his eyes while squinting them, he slowly paced further towards the sphere. When he had finally approached enough, Koushiro reached out a hand towards the sphere, only to have some sort of barrier prevent it from reaching the surface. 'That's strange. I guess the thing adapted so that it wouldn't have to repair itself because of the same disturbance. Prodigious…' Koushiro stopped for a few seconds. 'Where'd that word come from? I've never even heard of it before, but it strangely seems right for me to use it. Prodigious…yeah, prodigious.' That word repeated itself in Koushiro's mind, as if it was trying to register itself permanently inside of it. 

'Oh, come on. It's just a word. Nothing important can come from it.' He shook his head and walked away from the globe, but stopped suddenly when the steady light began to pulsate. 'What the…What's going on,' Koushiro thought as he turned around. Instead of being greeted by a blinding white light, it had strangely turned a midnight blue hue and a sound that imitated a beating heart. He raised an eyebrow and walked over to the sphere, only to be repelled away again. 'Damn. Its defenses are still up. I can't do anything until it lets me touch it.' Just then, as if it was reading Koushiro's thoughts, the pulsating suddenly stopped.

'Umm…why'd it do that,' he thought while bringing a hand to his chin. 'Oh well. There's only one way to find out what it really is…' Koushiro slowly brought a hand towards the sphere and placed extremely close to the surface, but was not touching it quite yet. 'Here goes nothing.' He closed his eyes tightly and quickly shot his fingers inside, hoping that no pain came from it. Koushiro felt nothing, so he wiggled his fingers around, yet nothing occurred once again.

'At least I know it's safe. Hmm…I know there's liquid in here, but strangely enough, it feels like there's nothing here at all. It's like a vacuum…nah. Vacuums are plastic tubes or the vastness of space, but a vacuum inside of a liquid is physically impossible. I mean, the physics of it all…' Koushiro trailed off as he faintly heard voices in the background. He pulled his hand away, thinking that someone was trying to attack him from behind, but once it was removed, the voices could no longer be heard. 'Peculiar…I could have sworn I heard somebody…' Koushiro turned back around to face the sphere. With less hesitation than last time, he placed his hand through the liquid wall and into the center of it. Again, Koushiro heard the same voices, only they were now louder. Instead of removing his hand, Koushiro slowly closed his eyes and listened intently to them.

Instead of hearing a single conversation, Koushiro managed to pick up on several conversations at once. It was like random thoughts were being thrown at him from all directions.

"Why can't mommy let me go to the park?"

"How much longer is this day going to last? I'm bored outta…"

"Je m'appelle Louis! Comment allez-vous?"

"My, what a beautiful day. I feel like going out and…"

A smile broke upon Koushiro's face as he heard several of these random lines all meshed together in one giant chorus of voices. 'I wonder where these voices are coming from. They can't be from me, can they?'

"'To be or not to be..' Ugh, this stuff is so confusing…"

"Why is the sky blue? Is the sky really blue, or is that just how the mind sees it…"

"I swear, if I don't get that raise, I'll kill him. I'll do it…"

"Here we go 'round the mulberry bush…mulberry bush…"

"Ha! This time, this sucker's going down. Bye bye forest and hello resort complex…"

"I sure hope…"

"…the Chosen…"

"Thou's desire is FORBIDDEN!"

Koushiro's hand suddenly pulled back as he covered his ears, but the reverberation of that last word refused to cease. His head swayed from side to side, yet the sound refused to stop. 'Oh, the sound, make it stop, please make it stop…' Koushiro clumsily sat down on his knees and placed his elbows down on the floor, slightly trembling with each breath. After a few moments, the noise dwindled to a small whisper, allowing Koushiro to get his bearings once more.

'Now, how'd that happen? What was that? Whose desire is forbidden? What's forbidden,' he pondered while slowly uncurling himself. 

***

Jyou had been slowly rocking back and forth on the bed for several moments while covering his ears in a vain attempt to block the sound from entering his ears. Even though it seemed to make the situation worse, he continued until the voice had slowly faded away into oblivion. Finally being able to relax, Jyou took his hands away from his ears and took in a deep breath.

'What was that? Oi, my head hurts now. Aspirin…I need an Aspirin. Where am I anyway?' Jyou thought as disorientation settled in. 'Oh yeah. Yamato's place. I wonder if he has any medication for headaches.' He slowly stepped off the bed, only to suddenly jerk his foot back up onto the bed. 'Ow…what's on the floor?' Jyou looked over and found that several shards of glass had been shattered all over one side of the room. In concern, he looked at his foot to find that one of those shards had inflicted a gash on the bottom of his foot.

'Well, Murphy's Law strikes again,' Jyou thought as he grabbed some medical supplies that he always seemed to keep by a bed in case some emergency came up. 'If anything harmful that comes out of the unordinary exists, it will always come to me first. Good ol' Murphy. Yeah right. Curse Murphy and his idiotic law,' he thought as he wrapped his foot with some bandages. After some grumbling, Jyou finished bandaging his injured foot and pulled himself to the other side of the bed. For a precaution, he looked around the floor before placing his feet there as to avoid another gash in them. The weight of his body caused some slight discomfort, but other than that, Jyou was able to walk perfectly fine. He slowly paced over to the left side of the room, where the shattered glass lay on the floor.

"What a mess…I guess I have to clean it up," he mumbled to himself as he walked towards the kitchen. "Yamato better have a dust pan…though it looks like he doesn't or he doesn't use it very often," Jyou muttered as his toes brushed against the edge of the wall, picking up lots of dust in the process. "This place could be festering with disease and he wouldn't even notice…figures that I'd get stuck here. For all I know, I could have already caught some type of unknown disease from this house…why am I being so pessimistic again? I thought I got over that a while ago. Hmm…I guess he was right. I worry too much about idiotic things that don't need my concern, but there's just so much that could happen…stop the pessimism…just stop saying that everything in the world is out to get you. Nothing's going to happen…" Jyou muttered while bending down to reach the cupboard underneath the sink. Before grabbing what he needed, Jyou paused for a moment.

'What am I doing here? I should be looking after Koushiro, but what am I doing? Looking for anti-septic and a dustpan. This is ridiculous! I shouldn't even be here!' Jyou took his hand out of the darkness beneath the counter and quietly shut the doors of the cupboard. He made a determined look and began to march out of the room, when he suddenly slowed and stopped. 'Well…on second thought, maybe I should clean up that mess. It would be rude of me to just leave it there and everything…' Jyou stopped for a second and sighed deeply and headed back to the cupboard. 'Well, there goes my determination. How pathetic can this get?'

***

__

'Forbidden…what was forbidden? It's all so confusing. Mainly, how was I able to hear others' thoughts? Those were people's thoughts, weren't they?' Koushiro rose from the floor and looked around the void in an attempt to find the sphere again to see if he could test it once again, only to find that it had disappeared. 'Great…now, I'm stuck in a dark void with nothing to do. Well…' Koushiro sat down and began to hum a tune.

*"Don't judge me…

You could be me in another life,

In another set of circumstances.

Don't judge me…

One more night I'll just have to take my chances,

And tomorrow, we'll see…"*

"Don't judge me…that's good advice. I wonder where I've heard that song before. Have I really heard it before, or am I just making stuff up to keep myself occupied?" Koushiro shifted a bit and looked around in the darkness and then closed his eyes. "Hmm…no difference…There has to be something that provides light around here…" Koushiro leaned over and started crawling on his hands and knees while still humming the tune. After a few moments of seemingly going nowhere, Koushiro's head bumped against something. He stood up and felt his way along the wall, hoping to find the exit of the void.

"So, I see you have reached the barrier of the unknown. I knew you would eventually. It is all around you after all." Koushiro stood up suddenly and looked around the area, fearing that the source of the voice was a hostile force.

"Who's there? Are you too cowardly to show yourself? I'm not totally helpless!" Koushiro took a battle stance while still frantically looking for the speaker. 'That's all I need…to be totally blind while being assaulted by another freak.'

"There is no need to fear me. You should remember who I am…I'm Nanako."

Koushiro relaxed for a moment so he could bring his hand to his chin. "Nanako? Nanako…nope. I don't know any people named Nanako. Are you someone that is important for me to remember? Is this name thing more important than you telling me what this 'unknown' is? Koushiro raised his eyebrows while speaking and pointed to the darkness beyond the barrier.

"No, I guess your remembrance of my name holds no significance to you, but it does to me. It shows that you are already forgetting all that has happened before and that the outside world is fading from your mind…"

"I haven't forgotten the outside world! I haven't forgotten the noise and all of the evil that exists there. I haven't forgotten the ignorance and filth either. That's all that lies out there. It's so quiet and peaceful in here…and the only was the peace can be disturbed is by me, and only me. This world gives me control of everything without anyone questioning if I'm right…or wrong…" Koushiro trailed off as Nanako silently shook her head.

"You are still part of the outside world and you are a coward for saying such nonsense. What do you rule here? Do you wish to sit in darkness forever and never associate with anything ever again? Is power truly that important to you?" Nanako slowly walked closer to Koushiro. "I do not think that's what you truly want…"

"What is with all you people and trying to tell me what I want and what I don't want? I determine that for myself and I DON'T need anyone else's help. All I want to know is what is beyond this barrier and that's all. No more, no less."

Silence.

"Hello?" Koushiro squinted in an attempt to see if Nanako was still present, but everywhere looked the same. "Humph. I'll just have to find out for myself." Koushiro slightly touched the wall, just to make sure that it was still present, and then hit it hard with his fist. He found that the wall itself was quite solid, as he suspected, and Koushiro clutched his fist as it throbbed with pain from the impact. He then felt the spot he hit, only to find that not a single dent has been made in the barrier. He thought for a moment and then decided his only option was to body slam into it. Taking a few steps backwards, he prepared himself for the pain of the impact only to be stopped by a grip on his shoulders.

"It cannot be broken by force and it is futile to try and do so. Even if you were able to cause damage, the wall would just repair itself within a matter of moments," Nanako told Koushiro as he was struggling to get out of her grasp. "I can't tell you what is beyond there because you are not ready for it. When you are ready, then you will be sure to know what is beyond this wall…"

Koushiro broke away from the woman's grasp. "I'm not ready for what? All you have to do it tell me what is beyond this wall, not show me. I'm ready for that aren't I?"

Again, silence.

"Fine! If you won't tell me that, then what was that ball of liquid that I saw earlier and where did it go? Am I 'ready' to know that," Koushiro questioned in a sarcastic tone. He shifted his weight to his left leg as he waited for a response from the woman, only to be greeted with more stillness. "Am I ready to know anything? Hmm? That's what I'd like to know right now…"

"That sphere was your link to the outside world. You could have left this place if you had willed it to be so, since you truly do control everything is this space…"

"Then how come I'm 'willing' this wall away, only to find that it is still standing in front of me?" Koushiro leaned against the barrier and gave it a solid pat to prove its existence.

"I have not finished answering your first question. You must have patience. Those who have the patience to look for an answer to a puzzle will eventually find the answer they are searching for in the end." Nanako paused for a second. "The reason the sphere disappeared was because you wished it to be so. Not just as a command, but in true feeling as well. It's true with everything in this space. You may be able to control everything here, but your commands must be enforced with the power of your emotions as well." Nanako sighed and closed her eyes, bot noticing the look of confusion that Koushiro has on his face.

'So, wait a second. I 'willed' that ball to go away, therefore cutting my link with the outside world? I didn't even tell it to leave, so how could my emotions back that command?" Koushiro crossed his arms and closed his eyes while leaning against the barrier. "I'm backing my will for this wall to leave with my emotions and it's not moving." 

"Just because you don't remember thinking a thought does not mean that you never thought it. It was more of an instinctual move than anything else. That is the type of emotion any command requires here because that's the type of passion that it at its fullest power. The emotion you feel right now is logical and not instinctual, therefore the barrier cannot possibly move. Also, the barrier is not within the domain in which you are imprisoned." Koushiro blankly stared.

"What do you mean, 'not in my domain'? Is there a domain to this now?"

"Oh course there is. You are in your own mind after all. Where did you think you were? A whole new dimension? This is why you have the ability to control what happens, but the mind itself is limited. No one has complete control of their mind and probably no one ever will accomplish this full discipline…"

"Well, of course not. The brain is 90% unused after all. It seems to make perfect sense, doesn't it?" Silence. "Nanako?" Koushiro opened his eyes wider in an attempt to peer through the darkness, only to end up rubbing them due to the dryness that followed. "Well…" Koushiro said as he turned towards the barrier, "…it's just you and me. Now, do I really want to get that gate back? Do I really WANT to go back there," Koushiro pondered as he stared into the darkness. "What really is there? Besides, I have the power to do what I please here. I'll get used to the darkness, eventually…"

Meanwhile, far off in the distance, Nanako watched from above as Koushiro made his decision. Hearing his words, she slowly descended to the floor, where she stood in silence, but her mind was far from silent 

'That is not what I thought you would say...' Nanako pulled a strand of hair from her face. 'Has the darkness already made you forget who and what you have left behind?' She slowly turned away from Koushiro, crossed her arms and began to walk away, only to bump into another barrier. Placing her fist against it, Nanako cursed all that had occurred. 'Damn Fate…why can I not change your incorrect decisions when I believe differently? Am I just your minion, as everyone else is, to do your bidding without question? Should I believe that it will all work out in the end? Not this time…not now…' With those words, Nanako vanished from the darkness of the void, murmuring the tune she had heard earlier.

"Don't judge me…

One more night I'll just have to take my chances,

And tomorrow we'll see…" 

'Yes…tomorrow, we shall see…'

***

"How long is this going to take? Me and my stupid responsibility about everything. I make a stain on the rug, I have to clean it up. I break something, I have to pick up the pieces. There are more important things to do right now that clean up this mess, but no…I have to be Mr. Reliable and fix everything…" Jyou grumbled while meticulously picking up every shard of glass from the broken picture cover. He had been cleaning for over two hours, making sure that every small shard had been removed from the floor. Finally, after all of his painstaking work, he had finished, leaving the floor even better than he had found it. "Now, I can finally leave…" Jyou stopped as he heard a door open and close from the other room. "What's that…" he said while looking at the clock. 

"Who could be coming at this time of the morning? A burglar?" He looked around the moonlit room for something that could be used as a weapon, but he didn't find anything…besides an old pair of shoes in the corner. "Well, they're better than nothing," Jyou mumbled as he grabbed the boots and slowly opened the door. He found that the hallway was still completely dark, therefore causing him to stumble over the rug every few steps. That's when a voice came from the other room.

"Where is that darn light switch? I know it was around here somewhere…" Then, a crash was heard as well. "Owww….damn couch. He should put it somewhere else so people won't slam into it when looking for his light switch…"

Jyou stood silently for a moment and then continued his approach in a more stealthy manner. Upon reaching the closed door, Jyou placed his ear against the wood and listened for any more disturbances, only to find that the room had gone dead silent. 'Hmm…that's strange…' he thought as he took his ear away. 'Maybe I was just imagining things…' Just then, another crash resounded from behind the door. 'That's it! I'm going in.' Jyou raised his "weapons" and crashed through the door shouting.

"Ah ha! I've caught you red-…" He stopped once his body collided with something hard. "..-handed…ouch…" Jyou rubbed his head as he sat on the floor and waited for a response to his outburst, only to get a muffled response from something beneath him. "Oh my…" Jyou got up off of the person and brushed himself off. "Hey…umm…why are you in here? If you're trying to take anything, I'll…"

"Yamato, as soon as I find the energy to get off of this floor, I'm going to kick your ass to the moon! I told you that I was coming over early today so we could get some…" The man trailed off as he looked up into Jyou's face. "Wait…you're not Yamato…" He picked himself up from the floor and made sure to get a closer look at Jyou's face. "Oh…sorry Jyou. I thought that it was a bit early for lazy Yamato to be up. What are you doing here? It's been so long since I last saw you." Jyou went to adjust his glasses so he could see the person better, only to find that he had forgotten them in the bedroom.

"Who are you? What are you doing here and how do you know me? Are you a stalker or something???" The man gave Jyou a strange look and took a deep breath.

"Well, you're Jyou all right. Go get your glasses and you figure out who I am. I don't think it'll be all that hard."

"Fine! I will then…" Jyou turned around, only to be met by the wall. "Who put this here? Darn walls…" he mumbled as his hands fumbled along the wall for the doorknob. "Here it is. Yamato's house is so confusing. How much was this place? The cheapest he could find?" Jyou's voice became more distant as he traveled down the hallway. The man, while waiting for him to return, sat down on the couch.

"Darn…I still haven't found that light switch. Oh well, the sun will come up soon anyway. That's when I'll put a blasted neon sign that points to the thing…oh…hello again. Well, can you tell now?" The man crossed his arms as he sat on the sagging couch.

"Just a second…I have to put them on first after all…oh…" Jyou blinked a couple of times before the image came into full focus. "It's you! It has been a long time, Ken. So, what are you doing here? Yamato owes you some money or something? I wouldn't be the least bit surprised." Jyou laughed a bit and walked over to the couch so he could sit down next to Ken. He had his eyes closed and had his head leaning against the wall.

"No, I'm not here for money, though I could use some. I wouldn't come here for that though. I'm just here because Yamato and I have teamed up on writing lyrics for his band. He kinda ran out of ideas, so he asked me for help. I really don't know why I'm here, but I guess it's like doing a favor for a friend. We have come up with some really good ones. Anyway, why are you here?" Ken turned to face Jyou, therefore causing the couch to shift slightly.

"Well, I'm here because Yamato said I needed a break from work. I have been seeing some pretty strange things and he said that everything I saw was stress related. But, I'm not really de-stressing all that much. There's too much to think about when someone isn't working."

"That's the point of resting, isn't it? It gives you time to think."

"Yeah, but all the things I'm thinking about are work-related, Ken. I can't help it. A friend of mine is at the hospital right now and he's all I can think about. I mean, Yamato told me to leave because I saw strange things around him. I know what I saw and I'm not crazy or anything, but…" Jyou started twiddling his fingers. "…I'm worried about him. I feel that if I leave his side for very long, that he'll die or somehow go away again…"

Ken opened one eye and turned his head towards Jyou. "Wait a second. What do you mean by 'again'? Has he left before?" Jyou looked down before he spoke again, causing his glasses to slip down his nose.

"Well, you see, there was a huge tragedy a while back. Do you remember the Tokyo Office Killings? Well, one of the unfortunate souls killed there was this person's father. When his wife found out, she had a total nervous breakdown and slit her wrists. Unfortunately, I was the one to treat this woman and I later found out that it was this person's mother. I watched as she died during the blood transfusion…it was so horrible and I couldn't do anything…" Jyou paused for a moment.

Ken straightened out his back and put his arm around Jyou in an attempt to comfort him. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to. I'll understand if…"

"No!" Jyou moved away from Ken to give him the clue that he did not want to be comforted. Ken removed his arm and placed it on the back of the couch, along with his other arm.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even pried since it's none of my business…"

"No, I'm the one that should apologize. I shouldn't have yelled. It's just that this event is pretty much the only thing that I have not been able to let go of and I get quite disturbed every time I think about it…"

"You don't have to…"

"Yes I do, damn it, and nothing you say will stop me from telling this!" Ken remained silent as Jyou continued his story. "That's when everything began falling apart in my life. My friend had disappeared after both his parents died. They wanted to call him in to identify the bodies of his parents, but they never found him. He just disappeared off the face of the Earth…I was quite devastated, but no one else, not even Yamato or Taichi, seemed to care all that much. I tried to tell everyone that I missed him, but everyone would just laugh at me and say that I really shouldn't care. Why should they tell me what to think?"

"Why would they? I mean, what did this person do to make everyone hate him so much?"

"He was never really emotional about anything. Whenever he spoke, he seemed to mock us because we could never achieve his intelligence level. I never saw it like that, but everyone else did. They never seemed to want to know him better and that every attempt that they tried would never amount to anything. That's when they started to ignore me, saying that I was just as cold as he was. Depression seemed inevitable, but that's when I remembered that life moves on and that I can't mourn what I've lost for the rest of my life. But…I've never lost the guilt for what happened. I felt that if I could have only been there for this friend and if only I could have comforted him when he needed to be comforted, then none of this would have happened…"

"Jyou, for all you know, this all could have happened even if you were there. Like you said, this friend of yours never listened to anyone."

"You may be right, but still…I should have done something, but I didn't. This guilt caused me to bury myself in my work and not communicate with any of the other Chosen children, including you new ones. That's why I hardly ever came to anything with you guys, unless I was absolutely needed…"

"Wait, wait, wait…You're saying that all of the old Chosen knew this person? How is that possible?" Ken crossed his arms and waited for Jyou, who was still twiddling his fingers, to respond.

"Well, you see…this old friend was a Chosen child as well." Ken looked shocked. "I feel that without him, we would have never left the Digital World alive. Yet, everyone else seems to have forgotten what he did for us. He and I were always the outcasts anyway. Well, I was more of one, but that's beside the point. I remember when everyone ditched he and I at the subway station. They totally forgot that we even existed."

"Well, I'm sure they didn't do that on purpose…"

"Well, isn't it hard to comprehend that these people could forget about us after spending months and fighting battle after battle with them? Isn't it?" Ken remained silent. "That's what I thought."

"How long ago did this all happen?"

"Six years ago. He's been gone the entire time and now that I have finally found him again, I don't want anything to happen to him. The only thing is that he came back in such a bad state, that he nearly died. In fact, he did die, but he somehow came back. It was then that I found out that…" Jyou paused once again.

"Found out what?"

"I…" Jyou stopped. 'Damn! What am I going to say? That I love him? That's a laugh. I have to think of something,' he thought while desperately trying to dig himself out of the hole that he dug for himself. "I found that…"

"Well, what?"

"That, umm…he had completely changed. Yeah, that's it. He was emotionally torn in half. One moment, he could be completely nice and the next, he could be a rampaging maniac. That's what pains me the most. Now, I'm split in two. I have this overwhelming happiness that he's back, but I also feel pained because of what he has become. Tell me, have you ever felt like a helpless little paper being blown through the gusty winds?" Ken looked down.

"Every time I thought about what I had done as the Kaiser and every time I looked at Wormmon, that's how I felt. Yes, everybody felt that I had let go after the final battles we fought, but I never truly lost the guilt I felt. Whenever I thought about how I had been controlled, I felt like a piece of paper in the wind. Thinking about how I lost Wormmon made me feel helpless as well. I couldn't even control who I wanted to live and who I wanted to die. Then, losing my genius-level intellect was hard as well. I just felt like everything was slipping out of my grasp and that I was helpless to do anything…I was so angry inside, yet, no one seemed to notice…" Ken looked back up at Jyou and clasped his hands together. "Is that what you're talking about?"

"Yes, exactly…" Jyou remained silent for a minute or so before speaking again. "What are we doing, Ken? We're sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves about things that have already happened and can't be changed. Haven't we better things to do?" Jyou stood up and adjusted his glasses. "I need to get to that hospital and damn what Yamato says. Koushiro needs me to be with him and that's final. I don't even know why I listened to Yamato in the first place." Ken stood up as well.

"I'm going with you. Yamato can wait. Besides, he probably won't be up for a few more hours," Ken said while looking at the clock. "It isn't like he'll miss me or anything. Besides, there's no way you can get to where you want to go in Yamato's car. It's a piece of crap." Jyou laughed.

"Yeah, and I forgot that I busted his tire as well…"

"How'd you manage to do that? Wait, should I ask?"

"I kicked it a little too hard. Then, Yamato got all emotional because of that and hugged his car a little too hard, therefore causing another tire to go flat…" Ken covered his mouth in order to stifle his laughter.

"You can't be serious, can you? Well, maybe you are. Yamato does love his car…"

"Love is an understatement…" Jyou seemingly lost his interest in the subject, causing Ken to feel a bit uncomfortable.

"Are you okay, Jyou? You look kind of distant." Ken received no response. "Jyou?" He walked over and placed a hand on Jyou's shoulder. "Are we going to stand here all night?" Jyou pulled away and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

"I need to write a note to Yamato saying where we went…"

"Oh, come on! Do you have to?" Ken sweatdropped and pulled at his chin. "He could come after us if you tell him where we went…"

"It goes against my nature to not write him something," Jyou said as he finished writing the note.

"Well, that makes sense. Can we go now?" Ken went over to the door and held it open. "The sun's going to come up any minute."

"Yeah, just a second. I'm not leaving in my pajamas…" Jyou then left the room, leaving Ken holding the door open.

"I'm not going to stand here and hold this door open! Hurry up," Ken yelled while bumping the back of his head against the door.

"You might as well shut the door! I dropped my glasses on the floor and I can't seem to find them…" Jyou yelled from the other room. Frustrated, Ken shut the door and went to help Jyou find his glasses. Meanwhile, just outside the door, a figure waited in the darkness…

"No longer will you be able to help the Chosen, my fools. As long as the darkness reigns in his heart, I shall exist. Even you, Nanako, have exceeded your domain of power. I will finally have my peace…"


End file.
